verbalis virga

Island Poetry from Enid

2010-03-24T05:43:00.000+13:00

Half Caste

Girls of the village
Look at me in my short board shorts
And my lightly tanned skin
In their lavalavas, too hot for the tropical weather

Girls of the village
Look at me with my tangled hair
They laugh and point
leave, this is the faaSamoa teine
you are half-caste, ia another one!

Girls of the village
Look at me with my pearl earrings
Who bought them
You lot! Half-caste
All the same, Kalofae...
I am an educated fool
With my short board shorts,tanned skin
Pearl earrings, My Swedish-German
Last name, Ha! How I laugh!,Kalofae...

Juliet Enid Westerlund

Tenacity and Training

2010-03-12T13:11:00.000+13:00

"Skill, surgeons believe, can be taught; tenacity cannot. it's an odd approach to recruitment, but it continues all the way up the ranks, even in top surgery departments...

"And it works. There have now been many studies of elite performers -- concert violinists, chess grand masters, professional ice skaters, mathematicians, and so forth -- and the biggest difference researchers find between them and lesser performers is the amount of deliberate practice they've accumulated. Indeed, the most important talent may be the talent for practice itself. K. Anders Ericsson, a cognitive psychologist and an expert on performance, notes that the most important role that innate factors play may be in a person's willingness to engage in sustained training. He has found, for example, that top performers dislike practicing just as much as others do. (That's why, for example, athletes and musicians usually quit practicing when they retire.) But, more than others, they have the will to keep at it anyway." from The Learning Curve, by Atul Gawande

Making Sense of the Beatitudes

2010-02-27T12:55:00.000+13:00

We are in the midst of a series through the Beatitudes. Having not thought much about it beforehand, I imagined that teaching them would be straightforward. Then I began looking at commentaries and listening to others give their take. Here’s what I think.

The challenges.

The Beatitudes are probably the most abstract Jesus gets. They don’t have a story, parable or concrete example preceding or following them. When someone asks us to picture ‘mercy’ in our head, our mind randomly scans for a dictionary-style definition and tries to create something concrete from that abstract definition. On the other hand, when Jesus tells us about a man who accidentally found a valuable treasure in a field, a concrete, emotion-evoking image comes to mind. This is precisely why the artists, that we have creating art throughout the series, have had trouble coming up with concrete visual ideas.
Teachers don’t seem to consider the context of the Beatitudes very relevant. Maybe because it’s the very beginning of the Sermon on the Mount and, as I mentioned above, the abstract nature of the Beatitudes makes it easy for us to universalize them. They become character traits that most every religion could accept. Not very edgy or counter-cultural, which is what we are often promised in the beginning.

The temptations.

To psycho-spiritualize them. Turn them into character traits like humility, sorrow over sin which leads to repentance, and gentleness, to name a few, that we should strive for.
To Paulinize them. To read Paul, or worse yet, Christian theology back into them. Hunger and thirst for righteousness becomes a desire to accept the righteous standing before God available to those who believe in Christ. Many people give into both temptations in interpreting the Beatitudes.

The perspectives necessary for interpretation.

Think context first, because it is relevant. Stick to Matthew – before and after. Chapter 3, John splashes onto the scene with a singular message, “Turn your lives around, because here comes the kingdom of the heavens!” Jesus identifies himself with John’s message, and, after John lands in prison, he takes it up as his own. Then he recruits co-workers. Their job description? Capture people. Large groups of people. (Net fishing, remember?) Then he takes it on the road, giving out free samples of the kingdom. In the context of teaching the ‘good news of the kingdom’ throughout Galilee, he ‘shows’ the kingdom through miracles, reversing wrongs, and, in the words of Wendell Berry, “practicing resurrection” – lots of little resurrections. Large groups of people show up -- needy, desperate people from all directions and backgrounds. Chapter five starts off mentioning that the Sermon on the Mount was delivered in response to when ‘Jesus saw the crowds’ and primarily as instruction to his co-workers.
Consider two groups of people while reading: Co-workers and Crowds. Compare 4:17-5:2 with 9:35-38 (4:23 and 9:35 are essential the same verse). At the end of chapter nine, Jesus sees the harassed and helpless crowds and has compassion on them. Then he urges his co-workers to ask God, who is passionate about these crowds of people, to multiple the number of co-workers. Jesus’ action and teachings are often intended for or directed to co-workers [disciples] (or potential co-workers, or resistant potential co-workers [religious folks, including Pharisees, Sadducees, Experts in the Law) with the goal of broadening their understanding of how God feels about these harassed and helpless crowds of people. For example, the story of the two sons (Luke 15), the audience includes co-workers and the crowds, but is specifically directed to resistant potential co-workers who were questioning Jesus’ ‘showing’ of how God felt about the crowds by feasting with them. Jesus never explains the ‘justice’ of God eagerly opening up the kingdom to these crowds with questionable qualifications. From the Sincere Questioner to the Angry Keeper of Keys, Jesus’ response is the same, “That’s how God is. If you care about God at all, catch his heart for the crowds. Quit keeping score. Join him as a co-worker. Celebrate every turn-around; all heaven does.”
Reconsider who WE are in the stories. We are not the helpless and harassed crowds. In summary, at the time of Jesus:

There was a very large disparity between rich and poor (Largest percentage of the crowds).
The upper class was made up of the temple priests and priestly aristocracy (including the Sadducees – a Jewish sect)
The small (compared to the USA) middle class was comprised of traders and merchants, artisans (stonecutters, masons, sculptors) and craftsman (metal, wood, cloth dye). The Pharisees (another Jewish sect), sages, scribes, and teachers were also a part of the middle class.
The lower class was made of laborers (weavers, stone carriers, slaves (non-Jewish person taken into slavery because of debt), and the unemployable (lepers, blind, insane, crippled, etc.)
For thousands of years, the Jewish people were primarily subject to foreign rule (Egyptian, Syrian, Babylonian, Persian, Greek, Roman, etc.), with only brief periods of independence. In the first century, Romans ruled the Mediterranean area known as Palestine (modern day Israel), where Jesus was born and lived his life. In the hierarchy of power, the Jewish self-government reported to the authority of the local Roman government (King Herod), which reported to Rome (Emperor Caesar). Again, we are not the poor the good news of the kingdom is preached to. We can be summarized by three of the above labels: 1) rich, 2) religious, most similar to the Pharisees (sincere lay-people), and 3) Roman, or in other words, citizens of the powerful, ruling empire of the day. If we misunderstand who we would be, we will likely misinterpret the text. When Jesus is speaking, often in very mixed company, he is directing his message to the crowds, co-workers, potential co-workers or resistant potential co-workers. I think that the most direct application to us comes from his teachings directed at any one of the three co-worker groups. He is trying to open up our understanding of God and his ways. God is in motion! As co-workers or potential co-workers, he is encouraging us to get moving in God’s direction. And time’s a wasting, because there are a lot of harassed and helpless people out there.

Love to hear what you think.

Quote from Rilke

2009-09-11T08:09:00.002+12:00

"...I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

good word for the day

2009-03-12T10:54:00.003+13:00

A portion of a blog entry from Seth Godin.

All around you, people are telling you two things:
1. whatever you want, forget it, it's impossible, and
2. sit still, preserve resources, lay low.

And yet, the people who are succeeding, creating change and (not coincidentally) are happier aren't listening to either of these pieces of advice...

Frank Sinatra had it wrong. Your dream shouldn't be impossible, but it sure helps if it's improbable. Don't choose your dreams based on what is certain to happen, choose them based on what's likely to cause the change you want to occur around you. (italics mine)

Image 'gleaned' from www.kineticbaltimore.com/KSR/2003/

"Giving Up Lent for Lent" by Diana Butler Bass

2009-02-19T11:29:00.004+13:00

This week, Christians around the world begin Lent – the 40-day period of fasting, prayer, and repentance leading to Easter.

In seminary, one of my friends eagerly awaited his yearly celebration of Lent, calling it his “favorite church season.” Since Lent starts with a morbid reminder of human mortality – “remember you are dust and to dust you shall return” – I always wondered if he needed therapy more than ashes on his forehead. As Christmas faded into fond memory, I dreaded Lent’s approach. Only it stood between Easter and me. Forty days of guilt whenever I ate chocolate.

A few years ago, I stopped struggling with my bad attitude toward Lent. I gave up Lent for Lent. I skipped Ash Wednesday, made no promises to God, and instituted no rigorous prayer schedule. I wanted to enjoy one March with no onerous spiritual obligations.

An odd thing happened, however, during my Lenten non-observance. I began to understand and experience Lent in new and deeper ways. When freed from expectations and requirements, sermons and scriptures spoke to my soul. By the end of Lent, I found myself willingly attending extra services, including two Good Friday liturgies. On Easter Sunday, the resurrection broke over me with unexpected power – with love joyfully overcoming the intense introspection that built during my non-Lenten weeks.

Giving up Lent for Lent taught me a paradoxical principle found in many faiths: that which we give up returns to us. When we cast our bread upon the water, it comes back multiplied. Jesus taught that to save our lives, we must lose them. The last shall be first in God’s Kingdom. The meek shall inherit the earth.

Scoffers and believers alike have often misunderstood these teachings. For a secular person, giving up to gain might appear as either reverse self-centeredness or stupidity. And believers sometimes treat this paradox as a magic cure-all, a kind of spiritual excuse to avoid practicing justice. (After all, the poor can look forward to heaven; why help them now?) But both miss the point. When we cling tightly to our own desires, we struggle and suffer. When we let go of these desires, God can move us toward deeper spiritual understanding and compassion. Our desire melts into God’s desire for shalom.

This spiritual paradox was enshrined by 19th century evangelicals – and later borrowed by Twelve Step groups – as “Let Go and Let God.” When I was younger, I heard this spiritual catch phrase in church and thought it superficial. Through the years, however, I have learned the essential truth expressed in this oft-repeated mantra.

To give up, to surrender to God, is neither popular nor easy. And you cannot make someone else do it – that is oppression – and has often been misused to control others. But surrender is a truthful way of life, the way that Jesus preached and modeled, the way that he called his followers to. Buddhists have sometimes enacted this principle better than Christians, teaching that attachment is the source of human suffering and detachment is the path to fulfillment.

When I gave up Lent for Lent, it become clear that I needed to give up the idea that certain religious disciplines would bring me closer to God. This belief had plagued me since I was an evangelical teenager struggling with my congregation’s expectation for a “daily quiet time.” Never able to maintain this program of spiritual rigor, I felt like a Christian failure. When I finally admitted that I could not do it, I experienced a new freedom in prayer. Giving up led me to a richer and deeper connection of God in prayer, and led me to practice prayer in ways that resonate with who God has made me to be – unique, meaningful, and transformative. Not a program, but a way of being.

Lent tempts Christians to try to fulfill other people’s expectations of what spirituality should look like, usually related to some sort of religious achievement or self-mortification. But Lent is neither success nor punishment. Ultimately, Lent urges us to let go of self-deception and pleasing others. These 40 days ask only one thing of us: to find our truest selves on a journey toward God.

Giving up Lent for Lent meant giving up guilt. Although I have been back to church for Ash Wednesday many times since I gave up Lent for Lent, that year freed me from spiritual tyranny and helped me understand Easter anew. The journey to Easter is not a mournful denial of our humanity. Rather, Lent embraces our humanity – our deepest fears, our doubts, our mistakes and sins, our grief, and our pain. Lent is also about joy, self-discovery, connecting with others, and doing justice. Lent is not morbid church services. It is about being fully human and knowing God’s presence in the crosshairs of blessing and bane. And it is about waiting, waiting in those crosshairs, for resurrection.

-- "Gleaned" from God's Politics

My friend Brenda Harp

2009-01-13T07:30:00.000+13:00

The Problem: Chris Baltzley

2008-12-02T13:27:00.008+13:00

I had the opportunity this year to speak the first weekend of Advent. The lectionary passages I spoke from are: Isaiah 64:1-9 and Psalm 80:1-7, 17-19.

Torture yourself. Click here to listen.

A poem of exile...
THE PAST

I am old sorrow and past predicament.
Now, without identity in a street
nameless to me, I am a stranger:
I am longings, I am fears.

The past is years dissolving into memory.
The past is emigration, flight;
the present: yearning and homesickness
dissolving into years.

I am the wandering child
longing to belong to his lost
childhood and not be outside the present,
always withdrawn, apart.

I am the homeless child
who grew up in displacement
living in homesickness
and sickness of the heart.

Blerim Kasneci
(1977- )

Blerim was born in Tepelenë, Albania in 1977, now he is living in Toronto

The Big Story, Another Version

2008-11-04T13:34:00.001+13:00

What I like about this version of the story is that it naturally leads into an explanation of the mission of the local church as part of the story. With the story in mind, it leads right into why we are striving to create a community of meaning and belonging, to give more and more people exposure and access to Jesus, and to transform as many people as possible into passionate and productive followers of Jesus.

"Won't you join us?"

NT Wright on The Colbert Report

2008-11-02T16:24:00.000+13:00

Lencioni on selfless leadership

2008-10-28T08:31:00.002+13:00

True leadership, the kind that results in the greater good, requires a level of selflessness and vision that most people simply don't have. We forget the loneliness and sacrifice and great personal risk that George Washington and Abraham Lincoln endured during their times, and that the personal benefits they received for their sacrifices were minimal, if not non-existent. But that is what was—and is—required of any truly great leader, which explains why leadership is a rare trait in society, and always has been. -- From Pat Lencioni's POV, October 2008

A word from the prophet... bono

2008-10-24T12:41:00.003+13:00

“When America looks outside of itself, its view of itself is never clearer. Its faith in itself is never firmer. Its purpose is never stronger. Today, at a time when America, again, is tempted to turn inward, turn away from the world and its troubles, it is more essential than ever that you look outward.” -- Bono (last night)

Son of Rambow

2008-10-18T17:41:00.003+13:00

"Son of Rambow..."
"Yes, Colonel."
"This has been my best day ever."

I knew it all along...

2008-10-17T18:31:00.007+13:00

'Stayin' Alive' has near-perfect rhythm to help jump-start heart

CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) -- "Stayin' Alive" might be more true to its name than the Bee Gees ever could have guessed: At 103 beats per minute, the old disco song has almost the perfect rhythm to help jump-start a stopped heart. To read the article CLICK HERE.

Eboo Patel interviews Rick Warren

2008-10-17T09:45:00.001+13:00

Rick Warren at 2008 Clinton Global Initiative from Speaking of Faith on Vimeo.

Bush Surveys Damage

2008-10-14T04:24:00.000+13:00

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

2008-10-11T04:41:00.001+13:00

The Prophetic Imagination

2008-10-04T13:11:00.003+13:00

“The prophet engages in future fantasy. The prophet does not ask if the vision can be implemented… The imagination must come before the implementation. Our culture is competent to implement almost anything and to imagine almost nothing… Every totalitarian regime is frightened of the artist. It is the vocation of the prophet to keep alive the ministry of imagination, to keep conjuring and proposing alternative futures.” Walter Brueggemann from The Prophetic Imagination

The Memorial Service of Robert T. Kidd

2008-10-01T12:57:00.007+13:00

We buried my father-in-law yesterday. Lots of laughter and tears. I read these verses at the graveside:

This is not final. This is not the end.
For as the scriptures say,
“For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands.” (2-Cor. 5:1)

We have hope. For the scriptures also tell is that the day is coming when:
“God will prepare
a great feast of rich food for all peoples,
a banquet of aged wine—
the best of meats and the finest of wines.

At that time he will destroy
the shroud that enfolds all peoples,
the sheet that covers all nations;

God will swallow up death forever.
He will wipe away the tears
from all faces;
he will remove the people's disgrace
from all the earth.

In that day we will say,
"Surely this is our God;
we trusted in him, and he saved us." (Isaiah 25:6-9)
--------------------------------------------
Here is what I said at the memorial service:

We gather here today to celebrate and remember the life of Bob Kidd. While we grieve this tremendous loss, we also find comfort in remembering Bob’s life and the impact he had on each of us. I think he would have wanted us to smile and laugh and share stories about him.

A scripture that Tara and I prayed for Bob, during these last few weeks was Psalm 23 (an ancient Hebrew song). There are several parts of it that seem fitting. It begins,

The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams.

When I think of Bob, and peaceful streams, I can’t help but think of fishing. I think he was happiest when he was fishing.

The song continues,
Even when I walk through the dark valley of death, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.

Bob walked through that dark valley with the same dignity and courage that he displayed his entire life, and we believe it was God’s mercy that he did not allow him to suffer in it any longer.

The song ends with,
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.

Goodness and faithful love were found in Bob’s character and family life. And it’s our expectation that Bob has now found a more permanent dwelling, where he’s fully at peace in a green meadow, dosing off, with his line in some peaceful stream.

------------------------------------

I’d like to share a personal recollection. And there are many more; as I’m sure there are for you.

There’s a quote I came across that reads,

Three-fourths of the Earth's surface is water, and one-fourth is land. It is quite clear that the good Lord intended us to spend triple the amount of time fishing as taking care of the lawn.

This could have been Bob’s mantra. When I met him, the back yard was all pool and iceplant. The front yard was cacti and volcanic rock. To visit him, Tara and I would make the long drive out to Indian Valley Reservoir.

Nearly 20 years ago, I pushed myself into Bob’s life. As a couple of firstborns, Tara and I have always been rather independent. As I remember it, Tara and I were already engaged when Bob and I met. Nevertheless, Bob was gracious and kind, always giving me the benefit of the doubt. He even paid for lunch that day (the first of many).

Even though it took awhile for the verdict to come back on me personally, my arrival brought a sigh of relief. Tara had been talking of doing missionary work in far off places like the Soviet Union or the Middle East. “At least now,” I’m sure his thinking went, “whether we like the guy or not, she won’t be traveling the world alone.”

Even though Bob didn’t share all our motivations for living in Kyrgyzstan, and then, New Zealand, he supported us in everyway possible. Even though he mat not have been thrilled that I had taken his daughter and granddaughters to live on the other side of the world, he encouraged us in everyway he could.

Bob didn’t always share his feelings in articulate words, yet he expressed them all the same. Immediately after getting married, with the plan to eventually move to the land of far, far away, we quit our jobs and moved to Oregon. Nevertheless, a couple years later Bob and Denny graciously bought us a new set of suitcases for our travels. Maybe to Bob, it was just luggage. But to us, it was blessing. It was his favor made tangible. Which meant the world to us.

Packaging can trick and confuse us. Something we buy online can look so good, but then when we open the package. Wow, what a disappointment. It wasn't like that with Bob. With Bob, you got what you paid for. And what you always got was a man who was kind, faithful, reliable, unassuming, honest, and gracious. No surprises. To the finish line.
----------------------------------
Tara's poem about her father:

I look into your clear blue eyes and I melt.

At once, I am again a little girl,

standing beside you at White Pines Lake,

after dinner,

just the two of us,

fishing.

You cast out your line,

a distance that awes me,

then the click of the reel

and you begin to draw it back in,

slowly,

tugging a fly gently across the top of the water.

I stand at your side,

maybe just a little behind you,

and make small talk --

like a little bird,

dabbing around the shoreline, looking for worms.

You would never have dreamt of leaving me home,

though this is your favorite time,

your time, really

but you're always willing to share it with me.

Sometimes, I have my own rod,

you patiently untangle my line,

without disdain. Sometimes we catch fish,

but that is never the point.

The point is the lake, the trees,

the gentle rhythm of casting and reeling in.

And me, standing in your long, strong shadow,

looking up and worshiping.

Are there bass boats in heaven?

2008-09-25T08:50:00.004+12:00

This past Sunday evening, Tara's father, Bob Kidd, passed away. He was born September 14, 1930 in Montreal, Canada. He and his wife Denny relocated to Martinez/Pleasant Hill, California in 1961. He worked 38 years for Shell Oil, rising to the position of Plant Maintenance Manger. He loved the outdoors and was a devoted fisherman, from trout in Alaska to large-mouth bass in Arizona.

He will be remembered as a faithful, loving husband and father. He was also a great role model for the younger men in his life.

He leaves behind his wife of 50 years, Denny, his two daughters, Tara and Melanie, and their families, including four grandchildren.

Thank you for your prayers over the past couple of years. We asked many of you to pray with us as we made the difficult decision to return to the States from New Zealand last year. And again, the past two months have been a real challenge, but God is good. Despite the difficulties and Bob's eventual passing, there have been evidences of God's presence, grace and mercy throughout these past days.

The Life Model

2008-08-25T17:09:00.004+12:00

Our couples life group is working our way through The Life Model: Living from Heart Jesus Gave You. I've read a few books in my life that I wish I had memorized so that I could make their truths life-tangible; The Life Model is one of them. I first read it about five years ago while living in KGZ, and it has haunted me ever since. In my present role as a pastor of a new believing community, I not only want to work it out in my own life, but I strongly desire to help create a community that bravely lives it out.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Darren 'Bo' Taylor has died

2008-08-16T02:45:00.003+12:00

Darren "Bo" Taylor, a former Los Angeles gang member who became a peacekeeper respected by street toughs as well as by law enforcement and community activists struggling to reduce inner-city violence, has died of cancer at 42.

After the 1992 Los Angeles riots, Taylor founded Unity One, a grass-roots organization that attacked gang violence through life-skills training as well as through conflict resolution on the front lines.

Taylor was a consummate mediator, whose years as a Crip gave him credibility and insight into problems that had divided the community and law enforcement into warring camps.

When the Los Angeles County jails were roiled by race riots five years ago, Taylor quickly assembled the gang leaders responsible for the violence and persuaded them to call off the fighting that left dozens injured.

He later led a program in the jails that reached 3,000 inmates with sessions to increase cultural awareness and impart concrete skills for managing anger and resolving conflict nonviolently.

Bo joined a gang at age 14. He graduated from Los Angeles High School and at 18 joined the Navy. After four years, he was honorably discharged and returned to the city but drifted back into criminal life when he could not find a job. Involved in drug trafficking, he recalled being shot at seven times in one month in the same phone booth.

After repeatedly dodging death, he had a spiritual awakening and decided to change course. He figured he had attended 200 funerals of victims of street violence and, as he told National Public Radio last year, he "couldn't cry no more."

Text taken from an article by Elaine Woo, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
August 13, 2008

baptize it!

2008-08-05T08:01:00.002+12:00

According to coffee lore, the spread of coffee's popularity was due to the influence on Pope Clement VIII (1536-1605). His advisors wanted him to declare coffee a drink of the devil because of its popularity among Muslims. Pope Clement VIII said: This devil's drink is so good we should cheat the devil by baptizing it. ('Gleaned' from Ebenezers Coffeehouse, National Community Church, Washington, D.C.)

Piha Beach, poem by Maia (January 07)

2008-08-03T10:05:00.005+12:00

Piha Beach

First I run with my jandals onto the sand, because its hot.

Then when I get to the cool sand, I take off my shoes.

The sand is cool, Im so excited, I dig my feet into the sand.

I run into the water, and its warm.

Soon Grandma and Grandpa come in too.

Little waves splash at us.

There are little holes on the ground in the water.

I fall into one.

A big wave splashes at us this time.

Asia and Morgan come in now.

Asia right away starts boogie boarding.

She starts catching big waves.

Morgan gets farther out than us.

We walk a little farther out.

I fall into another little hole.

I get back up onto high ground.

Im still in the water.

A big wave is about to splash at us.

I quickly turn around.

I face Grandma.

I put my face on her shirt.

She puts her arms around me.

The wave splashes us really hard.

I almost fall over.

I get pushed back into a hole.

This time Dad comes.

The waves get way bigger.

I decide to go back,

so I do.

Carried to the Table

2008-07-29T16:03:00.005+12:00

This summer, we've been speaking through the book of Leviticus in a series entitled "Welcome to the Neighborhood". For over 400 years the family of Jacob (Israel) was immersed in Egyptian culture and spirituality. After which, a God, they didn't really know, redeemed them and moved them on to a new location -- one where they would be surrounded by various forms of extreme paganism. Through the law, including the book of Leviticus, God was introducing himself to this people: "Hello, my name is Yahweh, and this is how it's done in my family."

I gave a brief message on the basic sacrifices found in Leviticus 1-7. Take a listen. You can download it on iTunes, if that is easier, at Lakeside Church, Folsom. While preparing, the words of the Leeland song, "Carried to the Table" kept coming to mind. Great song.

The Edge of Chaos

2008-07-01T08:02:00.002+12:00

"There's a very interesting scientific insight which says that regions where real novelty occurs, where really new things happen that you haven't seen before, are always regions which are at the edge of chaos. They are regions where cloudiness and clearness, order and disorder, interlace each other. If you're too much on the orderly side of that borderline, everything is so rigid that nothing really new happens. You just get rearrangements. If you're too far on the haphazard side, nothing persists, everything just falls apart. It's these ambiguous areas, where order and disorder interlace, where really new things happen, where the action is, if you like. And I think that reflects itself both in the development of life and in many, many human decisions." -- Dr. John Polkinghorne* on Speaking of Faith

*Dr.Polkinghorne is an Anglican priest, the President of Queens' College, Cambridge University, and former Professor of Mathematical Physics at Cambridge. Polkinghorne resigned his chair in physics to study for the Anglican priesthood. After completing his theological studies and serving at parishes, he returned to Cambridge. During the same time period, he wrote a series of books on the compatibility of religion and science.

God's Presence

2008-06-17T11:53:00.005+12:00

Two people that I find very fascinating, Martin Luther King Jr and Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, held similar views of God.

“You know, neither of them could speak about God totally being in control of events in the world. How is King going to believe that God is running the show when there is slavery for hundreds of years? When there is Jim Crow? When there is racism before his eyes, when those who are struggling for justice are being persecuted and hosed down in the streets? How is Heschel going to speak of God's dominance of the world in light of the Holocaust and all the other suffering of humanity? And yet both of them spoke of God's presence in their lives. I remember a sermon that King gave where he spoke about his fear when it became known to him that people were out to get him, when his house was going to be bombed, and he wondered how he could face up to this kind of tragedy, this kind of threat of his own death. And he writes that it was the presence of God that came to him one night that enabled him to bear with the bombing that did, in fact, come. So it wasn't that God had colluded in that bombing, that God had given permission to the bomber, that God was supervising things and, as it were, folding God's hands and allowing the bombing to happen. King did not pronounce on these mysteries of divine provenance. What he did do was testify to God's presence in his life as a source of hope and courage.” Arnold Eisen on Speaking of Faith, 06/05/08

"Divine Provenance" -- meaning basically, originating from God.

A Simple Conversation

2008-06-06T15:49:00.003+12:00

Despite two root canals and the painful infection that followed, I enjoyed bringing the word last weekend (May 31/June 1) at Lakeside. Check it out HERE. Using the story in John 4 of Jesus' encounter with the Samaritan woman, I hoped to encourage folks to get out there and create a few simple spiritual conversations. Jesus was our inspiration. I offered, at no additional cost, a few practical suggestions. :-)

there's always ESPN

2008-05-23T05:02:00.004+12:00

As we prepare for our presentation on Supporting Muslim Students, we come upon a slide with a photo of a bomb exploding in Baghdad. She averts her eyes. With her face turned away, all I can see is her headscarf. “I can’t look,” she says.

What can I say? I do the same thing every time CNN, Fox News, Sky, or BBC turns to news of Iraq. I even avoid reading the headlines as they pass from right to left across the bottom of my TV screen. I switch over to ESPN.

A reference to The Pottery Barn rule: “You break it, you buy it” was earlier attributed to Colin Powell. Well, we broke it, and now we don’t want it. We blame the store for not taking it back. Shattered to pieces -- 1 million refugees, 2.5 million internally displaced, constant civil conflict, and chaos -- little hope of normalcy. “But we have the receipt. It’s in its original box.” Shattered. Scattered. Beyond recognition.

Is it twilight for the Empire? The shocking 9/11 tragedy handed the US a lottery winner-sized check for “Millions and billions in Moral Authority.” Immediately afterwards, we were stopped in the streets of Middelburg, in the Netherlands, by Dutch offering condolences. The Friday after 9/11 I stood at the second-floor window and listened to three minutes of silence followed by the tolling of the bells of Middelburg -- church bells, school bells, the bells of city hall -- all in support of America and its suffering.

Weeks later, home in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan, even the Muslim Kyrgyz could feel our national pain and understand the need to scour Afghanistan in search of bin Laden and his accomplices. “In order to bring them to justice,” they would say.

However, like a stereotypical trailer trash lottery winner, our leaders quickly squandered their newly acquired fortune in moral authority. Behind the mask of patriotism and democracy, hides a toxic combination of fear mongering, blind vengeance, patronizing bullying, deceptive spin, fierce nationalism and personal greed.

Following our leaders, we blundered into Sadaam’s Iraq, without anyone’s blessing but our own. Which is all we thought we needed. “Won’t everyone else be sorry when we win.” How exactly does one win this sort of war?

What becomes of the Empire? History confirms that they don’t last forever. Egypt. Persia. Greece. Rome. England. Will this blow, this stumble, keep us on the canvas?

During the presentation, maintaining a pleasant voice, she comments on the slide. However, I notice that, like a frightened woman who senses a stalker, she fastens her eyes forward, afraid to glance back.

She may never go home. Her family got out because they could, 12 years ago, when George H. W. Bush invaded Iraq. Like so many, sown to the wind, left to take root somewhere else in the world. Who will bring them justice?

Cartoon 'gleaned' from www.ohiomm.com/blogs/bok/2006/12/page/2/

as they say in russian...

2008-05-21T03:40:00.003+12:00

I'd like to make, as they say in Russian, a рекомендация. I am really enjoying the most recent release by Telecast, entitled Quiet Revolution. Modern sound. So much Christian music has a subtle, or not too subtle, pop country sound, which I can't take. (Sorry, all you Carrie Underwood and Rascal Flats fans.) This group has more of a European sound, like Keane or Travis, someone like that. Good lyrics. Thoughtful. Hopeful. On sale at iTunes for only $7.99.

I appreciate the additional hair

2008-05-20T10:38:00.003+12:00

While speaking at IKON last night, an unknown artist (of some skill, I might add) drew a sketch of me. (I just realized that I'm wearing the same clothes today. How come you guys never tell me these things?) I deeply appreciate the added hair, as well as, the generous introduction (It was mentioned that I was a former NBA player).

my boyfriend, the bible

2008-05-19T17:03:00.004+12:00

A reminder for my friends at IKON...

Imagine the bible as your boyfriend or girlfriend. Describe your relationship.

A little rocky? Communication breakdown? A long distance relationship?

In theory, we might all agree that the bible's really important. Christians talk about it. Speakers illustrate their messages with it. You can find little bible verses on everything from calendars to In-and-Out Burger wrappers. A few of us even have bible verse tattoos.

Realistically, how much do we read it? Even when we try, do we understand it? Find it inspiring or confusing?

Here are three ways to approach the bible:

1. Read the bible as a STORY
The bible is 'the story so far' in the true story that God is still busy writing. When we begin following Jesus, he writes us into the story.

2. Read the bible with PURPOSE
Verses like Ephesians 2:10 and 2-Timothy 3:16-17 tell us that the scriptures have a specific purpose: to commission and prepare us for good works that God has designed us to do. As NT Wright say, "It's about becoming agents of God's new world -- workers for justice, explorers of spirituality, makers and menders of relationships, creators of beauty."

3. Read the bible with a Central FOCUS
Passages like Luke 24:13-32 and 36-49, 2-Corinthians 1:19-20, and Hebrews 12:1-2 help us see that the key to interpreting the bible is the person and accomplishments of Jesus. We take two laps around each passage we read. First, we ask "What did the original readers get out of this passage? What did it mean to them?" Second lap: "What does this mean in light of Jesus, his teachings and works?"

NEXT STEPS Get into the story. Read Genesis, beginning to end, Exodus 1-20, the book of Mark and the book of Acts. These books are the foundational stories that the entire bible is based on. While reading, ask yourself: 1) God, what's the story? 2) God, what in the world are you trying to accomplish? 3) What's my part in it all? 4) What will it look like today for me to follow Jesus?

Society offers us many competing stories. The way of Jesus, as spelled out in the bible, offers us an alternative story to live by. Let the story of Jesus begin to "in-habit" your life. It's a life-long, continual conversion.

July 8th. It will be 19 years.

2008-05-08T15:33:00.002+12:00

At the end of a crazy day of work, Tara called to debate with herself out loud, with me listening over the phone, about what to make for dinner. Together we decided on pizza for tonight and tacos for tomorrow, since both evenings require quick and easy dinners. Finally escaping the office, I pull into Papa Murphy’s, rush through the door and… Then it happened. I felt the urge to buy a container of chocolate chip cookie dough. I’ve never before bought cookie dough at Papa Murphy’s before.

The lone customer, I call out, “Two pizzas for Tara,” to the guy behind the counter.

As he’s grabbing my pizzas, he calls back “That’ll be $23.70.” (or something like that)

“Did you get my cookie dough?”

“Yes, she preordered that too.”

“Wow, we’ve been married to long. We didn’t even talk about the cookie dough. We’ve never ordered cookie dough before. But we’re both thinking: ‘cookie dough’.”

“That must be a nice feeling: knowing that someone else is thinking just like you”

“Yeah, it is. It really is.”

Of one mind. At least when it comes to cookie dough. That’s a nice feeling.

the spirituality of brokenness

2008-05-06T10:54:00.004+12:00

An email from my friend, Maribeth:
Yesterday a man offered to buy the oven we had at the garage sale. I told him 100.00 and he didn’t reply. Then I asked the Holy Spirit what He thought. Immediately the Spirit prompted, 50.00 dollars. I turned to the man and said, “Well for you sir, 50.00 dollars!” The man said, “That is interesting because I was thinking if you said 50, I would buy it.” He pulled out a 50 and handed it to me and said his girlfriend would pick it up in a couple of hours. Two hours later, his girlfriend showed up in a beat up pickup truck to load it. I told her how nice her boyfriend was and she laughed sarcastically and said he really wasn’t nice. In fact she said he wasn’t very kind at all. I was sort of shocked but then I got mad. “If he isn’t respectful to you, you should kick him to the curb! I am serious, sister, you are a princess, daughter of a King, and your boyfriend should treat you accordingly”, I told her.

But it wasn’t until we were struggling to load the oven into the back of her truck, that I noticed her scar. It was the deepest scar I have ever seen running vertically down her chest. “Hey have you had open heart surgery?” “I was shot in the chest. Gun shot wound.” That is when I got seriously straight with her. I looked into her eyes and gave it to her straight. “Listen sister, God does not bring someone back from the dead without having a big plan for their life. He brought you back because He knows you by name and has a plan for you.” Then I quoted (more like a pretty good paraphrase of) Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you,” plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I asked her if she went to church, gave her my name and number and Lakeside’s website. Now I am not sharing this because I think I am all that. Most of the time I am praying that I don’t mess things up badly in people’s journey of faith and that Jesus will repair the bridges I burn. Because in my pride and self-righteousness I mess up all the time. I am telling you because she matters to me. She matters to me. And she matters to Jesus.

I am comfortable around people whose scars are visible, because even though mine may be hidden to most, I have many. People who are “messed up” or “not popular” or “socially unacceptable” are the easiest to be with for me, because in their presence I don’t have to hide anything or have it together or pretend anything. I am free when I am looking into the eyes of a homeless person on the street. I am free when I am grieving with someone whose husband has left. I am free when someone shares their struggle with pride or jealousy or anger or distrust, because it gives me breathing room. Breathing room. Breathing room. Even though I don’t welcome being broken, I am at my best in my brokenness, because then Jesus can do what He does best. Where my capacities end, His begin. And nothing is better than when God shows up.

Thanks for showing up yesterday, Jesus. You are my best bud. And I am so grateful for all that You do. I can’t believe You love me like You do. It makes no sense to me, but I will take it.
Check out her blog, follow her adventure: http://www.acts3.org/blog/sheriff.php

The Danger of More Shiny New Things

2008-05-01T06:17:00.004+12:00

by Patrick Lencioni (from Pat's POV: April 2008)

I‘m sure it‘s natural for people to be fascinated with acquiring new things. Whether we‘re talking about physical possessions like homes or cars or toys, or more conceptual assets like knowledge or technology or business strategies, we seem to highly value what we don‘t have, especially when it is novel.

I suppose this is understandable—even good—in a society that values progress and innovation. However, there is a cost to overemphasizing and over-valuing all things new, a cost that goes beyond obvious concerns about greed and over-consumption. When we are in constant pursuit of acquiring more of the latest and greatest, we usually diminish or dilute the power of what we already have.

My twin boys turn ten years old this month, and as I ponder what gift to give them, I realize that what they probably need more than anything is more time to play with the things they already have, things they haven‘t begun to fully use or enjoy. Giving them something new may not make them much happier, and may actually cause them distress. You‘ve seen this dilemma on Christmas morning as your children sit in the midst of their own FAO Schwartz store, slipping into a toy-overload coma, overwhelmed by the choices they have and seemingly unable to process it all. If you‘re like me, you probably chastised yourself and vowed to your spouse that “next year we should give them just ONE present.”

This same phenomenon affects us as leaders of organizations too. But rather than toys, the objects of our desire usually involve knowledge or information. Most leaders I work with grow bored easily, and are in constant pursuit of strategies, ideas, trends—even employees—that will somehow transform their organizations. Unfortunately, they haven‘t come close to fully tapping the strategies, ideas, trends or employees that they already have, and yet they discard those untapped assets in exchange for new ones.

On a personal level, I‘ve experienced this phenomenon too. I‘ve recently come to the conclusion that I should stop reading so many new books and magazine articles. Instead, I should go retrieve the top ten books and articles that I‘ve already read, and start re-reading them again and again. After all, I‘ve forgotten most of what I‘ve learned in those books, and I‘m certainly not using or tapping into more than a fraction of what they have to offer. Instead, I‘m pursuing more and more new material, which only crowds out the space in my brain to recall and put to use the tried and true goodness of what I‘ve already learned.

Why do we do this? Perhaps we want to stay current. Or we don‘t want to feel out of touch. But I think it is based more in pride of knowing things than in real pursuit of excellence, integrity and discipline.

Don‘t think that the irony of all this is lost on me, an author who writes a new book every few years and who wants people to buy and read them. But I cannot deny that one of my favorite quotes comes from the author Samuel Johnson who said that “people need to be reminded more than they need to be instructed.” I suppose what he really meant was that we already have plenty of information. We just need to use it.

At the risk of going a little long, let me provide another example of the power of resisting all things new. This one is grounded in the world of corporate strategy.

There is a regional chain of quick-service (a.k.a. fast food) restaurants on the west coast called In-N-Out Burger. If you‘ve never lived or spent much time in California, Nevada or Arizona, you might not know about In-N-Out, but it‘s a sixty year old company that has a cult-like following among people who like fresh, delicious hamburgers.

What‘s amazing about In-N-Out is that during their history they‘ve almost never changed their menu. All they serve are cheeseburgers, hamburgers, french fries (one size only), milkshakes (chocolate, vanilla and strawberry, one size only), and soft drinks.

Imagine the temptations that the executives at In-N-Out have felt over the years to add something new. In addition to wanting to take advantage of trends and fads, they very easily could have decided they were bored offering the same menu. Why not add a chicken sandwich? Or a shamrock shake in March? Or a Mexican-pizza-melt? Every other restaurant is adding new items to keep customers interested. Weren‘t they worried they‘d fall behind?

They‘ve always said ‘no’, and kept their focus on making the freshest, most consistent high quality hamburger in the world—or at least in this part of the world. And they‘ve never been willing to dilute their focus on that by chasing something shiny and new. They believe that there are plenty of people out there who want great hamburgers, and they‘re okay with those people driving to another restaurant when they are craving something else. That requires great restraint and a real appreciation for what they already have.

I should end this now so that it doesn‘t go too long. Besides, I have to go buy my boys a birthday present. Maybe I‘ll get them sweaters.
Copyright © 2008 The Table Group Inc.

Beannacht

2008-04-03T12:56:00.005+13:00

I listened to a wonderful podcast from Speaking of Faith this week -- an interview with John O'Donohue. Here is one of his well-known poems of blessing, which he wrote for his mother at the time of his father's death. It's called, "Beannacht," which is the Gaelic word for blessing.

On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.

And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green,
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought (currach=a small boat)
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.
*To hear it read by the author with accompanying slideshow, click here.

message from muslim americans

2008-03-28T17:44:00.004+13:00

I was deeply moved when I saw this video entitled "A Land Called Paradise" on YouTube. I saw in those American Muslims many of the Muslims I know and have met around the world. The song is by Kareem Salama, an American-born Muslim of Egyptian parents.

easter aftermath

2008-03-25T11:45:00.005+13:00

If you haven't seen the videos our church produced for our series entitled The Aftermath of Easter, check them out at www.easteraftermath.com. We got a mention in the Sunday Sacramento Bee, as well as being chosen as a featured video on MySpace. The comic has nothing to do with the videos; it's thrown in for free.

:: practice resurrection ::

2008-03-17T14:14:00.003+13:00

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.

So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion - put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go. Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.

"Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front" from The Country of Marriage, copyright © 1973 by Wendell Berry

but does he?

2008-03-14T19:23:00.003+13:00

Translated: "Lenin lived, Lenin lives, Lenin will live."

There was a great version of this painting in the building where we used to play tennis, of all things, in Kyrgyzstan. I always thought of it as the Lenin Super-Hero Pose. I reget that I didn't try to buy it off the owner of the building. Chances are he would have parted with Eternal Lenin: Super Hero, if the price would have been right.

be the train

2008-03-14T18:04:00.006+13:00

I've been in conversation lately. A bit with people I know -- my friend Brian, and, as always, those little podcast people, who live in my iPod. Brian and I got started after he recently returned from the re:create conference. He was all fired up after hearing Jon Tyson from Origins Church in New York City. Jon's message: “As Christians, we’re not called to change the world, we are called to create culture.”

Too often, as Christians and Christian organizations we are no more than cultural karaoke singers, mimicing already dated, middle of the road, pop culture. Music for example. I love music. To learn that WalMart is the largest music retailer in the United States distresses me. (Warning: I now plan to sound like a music snob.) WalMart does not have good music. As I heard a writer from WIRED magazine say today, "That means that people who hate good music buy the most music." If the available music was restricted to what is available at WalMart or what one finds in the Curcuit City ad in their Sunday paper, the world would be a very, very, very musicly poor place. (And I wouldn't struggle with an iTunes addiction) It appears to me that the majority of Christian "artists" and leaders are floating down that very same mainstream, yet often a few minutes behind their non-Christian counterparts.

As well, just taking the name "emergent" or "missional" in an attempt to find the "hip factor," isn't cutting it either. Listen to this:

My problem with many of these emerging church projects is that they are still attempting to bring church up-to-date by “trainspotting” some aspect of culture and making church fit it. I want to argue that in the Emergent Church the emphasis will be on being the train, rather than trainspotting: rather than trying to import culture into church and make it “cool,” we need instead to become ‘wombs of the divine’ and completely rebirth the church into a host culture.

Kester Brewin, Signs of Emergence (Grand Rapids, MI: BakerBooks, 2007), 92

I have a question for you: how do we begin creating culture? Or, in other words, how do we "Become the train?"

People, be the train.

spring has arrived?

2008-03-04T17:47:00.005+13:00

Wow! We have had a marvelous month of February, and, if the weather predictions for this week hold up, March isn't bad either so far. We can see signs of spring everywhere, from the blossoming trees to the appearance of 'billions and billions' of cedar waxwings. At the church where I work, they have arrived in-force. When you look closely into the trees, you become aware of dozens, at times, maybe hundreds, of them perched, ready to dart away to the next tree if you get to close.

Maybe we're a little desperate for spring. Having come over from New Zealand in mid-November, we feel like we have been in winter-like conditions for 'billions and billions of years' (I love mimicking Carl Sagan, may he rest in peace, as I type it :: "Billions and Billions of years.")

Living in this area of N. California, I always wish for a long spring and a long fall. Compared to other parts of the country, I risk sounding like a whiner, but winters here can be too wet and cold, not ice cold, but like getting caught in an unanticipated damp cold, unprepared and under dressed. Summers can, or should I say, are, too hot and dry. I've nearly killed myself by attempting to jog or play basketball in the middle of the day. However, spring and fall can sometimes be one perfect day -- not too hot or too cold; not too dry or too wet -- after another. I find myself just wanting to sit outside, stare at all the beauty around me and get creative -- write poetry, take photos, draw pictures, or write stories -- Walt Whitman-like.

All this to say, I'm pretty happy right now. Sunshine can do that to a soul.

book recommendation

2008-02-26T08:05:00.003+13:00

I'm reading a book that I'd like to recommend to anyone who's job it is to be a communicator: Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by Chip and Dad Heath.

The authors lay out the critical elements of a sticky idea. They are--
* Simplicity: the idea must be stripped to its core, and the most important concepts should jump out.
* Unexpectedness: the idea must destroy preconceived notions about something. This forces people to stop, think, and remember.
* Concreteness: avoid statistics, use real-world analogies to help people understand complex ideas.
* Credibility: if people don't trust you, they'll ignore you. In some cases, they will be openly hostile, which means they'll actively try to dispute your message!
* Emotional: information makes people think, but emotion makes them act. Appeal to emotional needs, sometimes even way up on Maslow's hierarchy.
* Stores: telling a story [gets] people into paying closer attention, and feeling more connected. Remember the Jared Subway commercials? ('Gleaned' from Brian Bex Huf's review on Amazon.com)

Very interesting reading, I just wish I could've finished it before preparing the message that I gave last weekend... No worries. Always room for growth.

he had a PRESENCE about him

2008-02-26T07:53:00.003+13:00

I spoke at the gatherings this past weekend at Lakeside Church. It was the second installment in a four-week series on the Holy Spirit, entitled, "The Advocate." It's my hope that people went away with a better understanding of the relationship between the work of the Spirit and the task of following Jesus. For the Spirit continues the work of Jesus in the life of the believer, and through the active presence of the Spirit, we continue Jesus' work in the world. It's available on-line if you are interested.

forgiveness, Henri Nouwen

2008-02-14T13:33:00.002+13:00

"Forgiving does not mean forgetting. When we forgive aperson, the memory of the wound might stay with us for along time, even throughout our lives. Sometimes we carry the memory in our bodies as a visible sign. But forgiveness changes the way we remember. It converts the curse into a blessing. When we forgive our parents for their divorce, our children for their lack of attention, our friends for their unfaithfulness in crisis, our doctors for their ill advice, we no longer have to experience ourselves as the victims of events we had no control over.

Forgiveness allows us to claim our own power and not let
these events destroy us; it enables them to become events
that deepen the wisdom of our hearts. Forgiveness indeed
heals memories."

Image "gleaned" from http://www.burkhartstudios.com/burkhart/religion/forgiveness.jpg

this I believe... we all need mending

2008-02-05T07:46:00.000+13:00

by Susan Cooke Kittredge
February 3, 2008 ·

Like most women of her generation, my grandmother, whom I called Nonie, was an excellent seamstress. Born in 1879 in Galveston, Texas, she made most of her own clothes. Widowed at 43 and forced to count every penny, she sewed her three daughters' clothes and some of their children's, as well.

I can knit but I cannot sew new creations from tissue-paper patterns. Whenever I try, I break out in a sweat and tear the paper. It clearly requires more patience, more math, more exactitude than I seem willing or capable of giving.

Recently, though, I have come to relish the moments when I sit down and, somewhat clumsily, repair a torn shirt, hem a skirt, patch a pair of jeans, and I realize that I believe in mending. The solace and comfort I feel when I pick up my needle and thread clearly exceeds the mere rescue of a piece of clothing. It is a time to stop, a time to quit running around trying to make figurative ends meet; it is a chance to sew actual rips together. I can't stop the war in Iraq, I can't reverse global warming, I can't solve the problems of my community or the world, but I can mend things at hand. I can darn a pair of socks.

Accomplishing small tasks, in this case saving something that might otherwise have been thrown away, is satisfying and, perhaps, even inspiring.

Mending something is different from fixing it. Fixing it suggests that evidence of the problem will disappear. I see mending as a preservation of history and a proclamation of hope. When we mend broken relationships, we realize that we're better together than apart, and perhaps even stronger for the rip and the repair.

When Nonie was 78 and living alone in a small apartment in New Jersey, a man smashed the window of her bedroom where she lay sleeping and raped her. It was so horrific, as any rape is, that even in our pretty open, highly verbal family, no one mentioned it. I didn't learn about it for almost five years. What I did notice, though, was that Nonie stopped sewing new clothes. All she did was to mend anything she cold get her hands on as though she could somehow soothe the wound, piece back together her broken heart, soul and body by making sure that nothing appeared unraveled or undone as she had been.

Mending doesn't say, "This never happened." It says instead, as I believe the Christian cross does, "Something or someone was surely broken here, but with God's grace it will rise to new life." So too my old pajamas, the fence around the garden, the friendship torn by misunderstanding, a country being ripped apart by economic and social inequity and a global divide of enormous proportions — they all need mending.

I'm starting with the pajamas.

Independently produced for Weekend Edition Sunday by Jay Allison and Dan Gediman with John Gregory and Viki Merrick.

Image 'gleaned' from http://www.explodingdog.com/dumbpict51/mending.gif

Car hits two joggers; one remains hospitalized

2007-12-12T12:10:00.000+13:00

Our friends Jack and Larry were hit by a car while jogging. Jack was seriously injured; Larry, though hit as well, likely saved Jack's life by his quick response. You can keep up with Jack's progress at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jacklondon

From the Sacramento Bee, December 6, 2007

FOLSOM – Two joggers were struck by a passing car on Iron Point Road near Rowberry Drive about 6:15 a.m. Monday, and one of them remains hospitalized in stable but critical condition at Mercy San Juan Medical Center in Carmichael, officials said.

The two men, ages 46 and 43, were westbound in the bicycle lane when they were struck by a Hyundai Sonata driven by a 54-year-old woman, police said.

The older man flew up over the hood of the car, said Officer Michelle Beattie, a police spokeswoman. His injuries included a fractured skull, two fractured vertebrae and a gash across his forehead.

The other jogger was clipped on both legs and grazed by a side-view mirror but did not suffer any serious injuries, she said.

So far, Beattie said, investigators have determined that the seriously injured man was wearing some kind of headband with a blinking red light on the back.

Both men were in the roadway, and police officers generally recommend that runners use a sidewalk or some other separated path, Beattie said.

Police declined to identify the driver or joggers.

– David Richie

quote of the day

2007-11-17T08:00:00.000+13:00

Reinhold Niebuhr's, in his book The Irony of American History, wrote, "Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime; therefore, we must be saved by hope. Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore, we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, could be accomplished alone; therefore, we must be saved by love. No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as it is from our own standpoint; therefore, we must be saved by the final form of love, which is forgiveness."

first morning back

2007-11-13T13:07:00.000+13:00

I had to agree with Maia when she mentioned this morning that she finds it hard to believe that we are actually going to live here in the USA. So far it feels like a holiday. I enjoyed watching TV this morning, especially the commercials. Feels like New Zealand on speed. Everything is bigger, brighter, newer, faster. Is that good or bad? It depends. Some of it I welcome, like food convenience and shopping choices. Other things are a bit scary, like how much fast and junk food are readily available and how easy it is to get caught up in a shopping frenzy. Our virtues are also our vices. It's quite exhilarating. Walking the isles of Target, I can feel the adrenaline start to pump throughout my body.

Tara has mentioned a verse that has resurfaced in her life. I believe it is from Ezekiel, but I’m not certain. I’ll have to ask her. But it mentions God bringing “showers of blessing.” It hasn’t been a stretch for her to interpret many of the events of the past couple of weeks as blessings. We have had many people reach out to us at this time -- neighbors, friends, church people and co-workers. We've also seen many things “go our way.” Don't you think: it’s so easy to blame Creator God when our desperate requests are ignored or messy situations only appear to get worse. So I guess it's only fair to “fault” him when life seems to go our way or our path get smoothed out and suddenly feels straightened out a bit. If nothing else, it should humble us, and make us reticent to cast blame. We have to affirm, “God is good. All his intentions toward us are good.” (Ezekiel 34:26)

a willingness to move

2007-11-13T12:48:00.000+13:00

November 3, 2007

A short time ago, the high school small group that Asia attends did a little exercise. They were asked to prioritise into two columns what they were looking for in a future mate: essential and desired. The first entry in Asia’s desired column was “a willingness to move.” Poor child, she has little chance of being a normal American suburbanite housewife.

One week to go. 10 November we get on a plane back where we came from -- San Francisco, accompanied by our approximately 12 pieces of luggage. Not only are we nomadic, our possessions are transient. Last weekend we hosted a two-day garage sale. The first day, our possessions were flying out of here. Since then, we have dedicated ourselves to getting rid of nearly all we own. Nothing is exempt -- clothes, books, CDs, TV, stereo, dishes, and even stuffed animals and magnetic Pollys.

Photo "gleaned" from http://www.elaineling.com/photo_gobi_family.html

Word for the Day... or maybe the year

2007-10-23T10:00:00.000+13:00

"Sentimental pessimism or melancholy over the state of the world"

Weltschmerz (from the German meaning world-pain or world-weariness) is a term coined by the German author Jean Paul and denotes the kind of feeling experienced by someone who understands that the physical reality can never satisfy the demands of the mind. It is also used to denote the feeling of sadness when thinking about the evils of the world.

The modern meaning of Weltschmerz in the German language is the psychological pain caused by sadness, that can occur when realizing that someone's own weaknesses are caused by the inappropriateness and cruelty of the world and (physical and social) circumstances.

"Gleaned" from www.yourdictionary.com and Wikipedia; image from the Canadian comic strip, Weltschmerz.

Habakkuk in Kyrgyzstan

2007-10-17T09:19:00.000+13:00

I recently received a letter from friends in Kyrgyzstan, chock full of genuine concerns: looming political crisis, rising inflation, persecution of the church, faith-stretching projects underway, personal financial struggles, a serious health problem and the gathering of world leaders in Bishkek. Then they added,

"Yet, in the end, we were reminded that GOD IS IN CONTROL! He holds the hearts of rulers in His hand, and shapes their wills to His own. What a comforting thought! We may feel that the political situation in the world is spinning out of control, but we are reminded of the day when Jesus will reign and 'the whole earth will be full of the knowledge of the glory of the Lord as the waters cover the sea' (Isaiah 11:9)."

Here is my response to them:
It caught my attention when you quoted Isaiah 11:6 in the context of, or in response to, your list of struggles and, what could be interpreted as, spiritual attack or oppression. One of the other places that we find those words is in Habakkuk 2:14, "For the time will come when all the earth will be filled, as the waters fill the sea, with an awareness of the glory of the LORD." However, the context in which Habakkuk finds himself is dire and perplexing -- a people more wicked than his own are being used as the instruments of judgment on his people, as well as, all around him he sees terror, greed, corruption and idolatry, often where he thought he saw God's glory at work, even among God's people (ch. 2).

Nevertheless, Habakkuk is told that this tidal wave of the LORD's glory is "slowly, steadily, surely" coming (2:3) and that "if it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place." Two paths are placed before him: "Look at the proud! They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked" and then there's "the righteous" who "will live by their faith." (2:4) We too live in perplexing times, even among believers we find both the emerging of God's glory and corruption and syncretism (old spiritual ways mixed with their new faith); we see moments of redemption and occurrences of oppression and terror.

Eventually, Habakkuk re-centers himself "But the LORD is in his holy temple. Let all the earth be silent before him." (2:20) Then he is able to close his prayer with these words:

17 Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
and there are no grapes on the vines;
even though the olive crop fails,
and the fields lie empty and barren;
even though the flocks die in the fields,
and the cattle barns are empty,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord!
I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength!
He makes me as surefooted as a deer,
able to tread upon the heights. (3:17-19)

God's kingdom -- like a slow train coming, as the prophet Bob Dylan said. Keep the faith.

Our darkest hour - ever!

2007-10-07T18:32:00.000+13:00

"Our darkest hour"? No, not the bombing of Pearl Harbour or 9/11 or even the recent eruption of Mt. Ruapehu. Worse yet. The All-Blacks, perennial rugby favorites, lost again -- early and badly -- in the Rugby World Cup. In NZ, a whole nation mourns. Here are some of the headlines in today's papers.

From www.stuff.co.nz
Our darkest hour - ever!

The horror, the horror. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse for the All Blacks at the World Cup, it did.

Nightmare continues: ABs fried by French

Four more years. Those bitter words, plus the screaming celebrations of 20,000 Frenchmen, were ringing in the ears of the All Blacks after they were sensationally bundled out of the World Cup by France 20-18 in Cardiff on Sunday with Graham Henry's side suffering New Zealand's earliest exit from the tournament.

Our gods fall to earth

The All Blacks didn't play badly, but they didn't play well enough. For long periods of this test match they played better rugby than any other team in the competition is remotely possible of playing.

Teary All Blacks 'grief stricken'

"Don't let it happen again".

Rugby: All Blacks choked

Chokers. That is what international media are labelling the All Blacks after they crashed out of the Rugby World Cup quarter-finals against France this morning.

Sports writers were left in as much disbelief as All Blacks fans after New Zealand let a 10-point halftime lead turn into 18-20 loss in Cardiff - their worst ever World Cup performance.

"You've got to choking, it's a new world order" said the Sydney Morning Herald's, while "End of the world for the All Blacks" was brandished across Britain's Telegraph website.

"They said it could not happen again. They said that New Zealand could not botch another World Cup. They said that there would not be a repeat of 1999 at Twickenham when France, from nowhere, humbled the seemingly invincible All Blacks," wrote the Telegraph's Steve James.

"Well, revise your opinions. New Zealand have yet another long wait and France are through to face England in an intruiging semi-final in Paris next Saturday (Sunday NZ time)."

"Word for the Day" or a great name for a blog

2007-09-13T19:33:00.000+12:00

omphaloskepsis -- Navel gazing. Contemplating one’s navel as an aid to meditation. It is formed from two Greek words, omphalos, “navel, boss, hub,” and skepsis, “the act of looking; enquiry.”

('gleaned' from http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-omp1.htm.

Painting by Kirsten Johnson

"A long obedience in the same direction"

2007-09-07T18:33:00.000+12:00

"The essential thing 'in heaven and in earth' is,
apparently (to repeat it once more), that there
should be long OBEDIENCE in the same direction;
there thereby results, and has always resulted
in the long run, something which has made
life worth living; for instance, virtue, art,
music, dancing, reason, spirituality--anything
whatever that is transfiguring, refined,
foolish, or divine."

--Friedrich Nietszche, Beyond Good and Evil (1886)

"Gleaned" from Addenda: A periodical e-mail newsletter from MARS HILL AUDIO
September 5, 2007 - Number 42

Happy Birthday Alice!

2007-09-06T20:58:00.000+12:00

From The Writer's Almanac with Garrison Keillor
Thursday, 6 September 2007

It's the birthday of the novelist Alice Sebold, born in Madison, Wisconsin (1963). She was a freshman in college when one night she was attacked while she was walking home, dragged into an underground tunnel, and raped. She thought that she was going to be murdered throughout the experience. When she later talked to the police, they said that a girl had recently been murdered in that same tunnel, and so she should consider herself lucky for having survived. A few weeks later, Sebold spotted the rapist on the street, and she went to the police. He was arrested, and Sebold testified against him at the trial. The rapist was convicted and received the maximum sentence, and Sebold thought that the end of the trial would put the experience behind her.

But for the next 15 years she struggled to have relationships with other people, and she struggled to write. She moved to New York and started drinking a lot and dabbling in drugs. She wrote numerous stories and two novels, but she couldn't get anything published. In the back of her mind, Sebold had always thought about that other girl who had been murdered in the tunnel where she'd been raped. Sebold wanted to give that girl a voice, so one day she sat down at her desk and in one sitting Sebold wrote the entire opening of what would become her novel The Lovely Bones, about a murdered 14-year-old girl looking down from heaven as her family tries to recover from the grief of her death. It begins, "My name was Salmon, like the fish; first name, Susie. I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973."

The Lovely Bones was published by Little, Brown, and it became a word-of-mouth sensation among booksellers and critics before it was even published. It came out in June of 2002, a few months before Sebold's 39th birthday, and sold more than 2 million copies, becoming the best-selling book in 2002.

Alice Sebold said, "It's very weird to succeed at 39 years old and realize that in the midst of your failure, you were slowly building the life that you wanted."

******************

Wow! What a profound statement, "...in the midst of your failure, you were slowly building the life that you wanted." It brings to mind the metaphor of our life as the weaving of a tapestry. From our perspective, in the midst of it, we see the chaos and meaninglessness of the tapestry's backside. And, like most backsides, its not so pretty. However, just possibly, our creative, generous God is orchestrating a masterpiece. He is thoughtfully and carefully crafting a work of unique art. Only to be fully appreciated when completed -- from a distance. Good on ya, Alice.

Fear of Our Calling Due to Fear Calling

2007-08-21T15:34:00.000+12:00

CALL

The LORD had said to Abram,
"Go from your country, your people and your father's household to the land I will show you.

"I will make you into a great nation,
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.

I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you."

So Abram went, as the LORD had told him. (Genesis 12:1-4)

✡ ✡ ✡ ✡ ✡ ✡ ✡ ✡

The Lord invited Abram (later called Abraham) into a life of adventure and meaning. On the other hand, the choice required Abraham to leave his comfort zone -- the safety and security of his own country, his own people and his father’s household. Heading off to Canaan, Abraham quickly became a minority, immersed among peoples who lived, looked, thought, spoke and believed differently. I’ve been there, in situations where I feel like the only one of my species. (An American in New Zealand! ☺) It’s easy to get defensive, even fearful, and switch into self-protection mode.

FEAR

The natural compulsion when afraid is to seek protection from what we fear. Even though Abraham’s God-given vocation was to be a blessing to all peoples on the earth, it didn’t come naturally or easily. In fact, Abraham’s fear-induced actions (better, reactions) among the Egyptians caused them so much trouble that they paid him to leave and gave him a police escort out of the country! Not really what God had in mind back in chapter 12, was it? What went wrong? When we’re afraid, Abraham shows us, we do things that feel to others more like a curse than a blessing.

A short time later, God in his goodness appears to Abraham with these words, “Do not be afraid, Abram, for I will protect you, and your reward will be great.” (Genesis 15) God even assures him that, even though things will not always be rosy for his descendents, Abraham himself will “die in peace, at a ripe old age.” In essence, he said, “Stop fearing for yourself, Abraham. Start trusting me, so that I can bless you, so you can bless others, like I promised.”

In the same way, as children of Abraham, believers are called to move into the unknown in order to be a blessing to others. When we’re afraid, like Abraham, we put the shield up, we protect ourselves -- we do things that feel to others more like a curse than a blessing. It always takes trust in God to be a blessing. Let’s not let fear keep us from reaching out in friendship and blessing to all around us.

Let’s trade in our fear for faith.

Just a thought…

Music Review: Salvation in Lights, Mike Farris

2007-08-21T13:53:00.000+12:00

Here's what I'm listening to this week. Great music from a Jesus-following, New Orleans bluesman. Doesn't get any better than this! Check out the review below.

Review by Randy Brandt

Originally posted at http://www.almenconi.com/index.php

The first time I listened to Salvation in Lights, I thought it was pretty good, but I wasn't paying very close attention. Then I listened to it again and changed my mind--I realized that it was a great album, and now I consider it one of the top couple of CDs I've heard in 2007.
Mike Farris lived the stereotypical substance-abuse lifestyle as the frontman for Screamin' Cheetah Wheelies and then Double Trouble (Stevie Ray Vaughn's former band). A couple of years ago he quit running from God and now he pours his voice and soul into songs about heaven and redemption. New Orleans-flavored gospel, soul and blues are mixed into a musical stew so hot that it just might melt your CD player. While my favorite song is "I'll Take You There," marked by passionate vocals and a scorching guitar solo, "Can't No Grave Hold My Body Down" is the one that gets me moving. If you can sit calmly during that one, you're probably in the grave already. Farris shares his testimony in "Lonely Road":

Used to think that I had the power to change me / but only you my Lord / had the power to save me / There's no doubt in mind / where in this world I would be / Without Your love, without You...I was so blind til I saw Your glory / the day You saved me... will always be the best part of my story

Salvation in Lights offers quality musicianship from Nashville pros on a good variety of musical styles. Contemplative moments are mixed in with tunes that could blow the doors off buildings when performed live. If you have any appreciation at all for passionate bluesy gospel, Salvation in Lights is a must have.

Not a solution, but a sign

2007-08-21T12:09:00.000+12:00

One of my absolutely favourite podcasts is Speaking of Faith with Krista Tippett. The guests are intriguing, the show is well produced and Krista asks thoughtful questions. Last week she did a broadcast on L'Arche, a community formed around people with mental disabilities. L'Arche may ring a bell for some of you who are readers of books on spirituality and spiritual nurture. The Toronto home was where the author Henri Nouwen spent the last years of his life, as an assistant to one of the mentally disabled core members. He wrote about it in a number of his books, including In the Name of Jesus which I wrote about in an earlier post.

The entire podcast is well worth a listen (it can be downloaded from the website or found on iTunes), but one comment has stuck with me, like a songline you can't get out of your head, like one of those sappy songs from High School Musical. "We’re soarin’, flyin.’ There’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach..." Sorry, got a little distracted there for a moment.

Here is the quote that keep repeating itself in my head:
What we say that we want to be, and what I think that we are, is we want to be a sign of hope. In the charter of L'Arche we say that, you know, we can't serve every person with a mental handicap. We're not out to be a solution for anything, but more of a sign. You know, our visitors are really important, our pilgrims are very important to us because we live this every day, and we can tend to think there's nothing extraordinary about what we do. When our pilgrims come in—I like that term—you know, they tell us that we're living something that's very unique and very different. And so a lot of times at the end of the week, they're telling about this wonderful experience that they've had and we're sitting around thinking 'Wow. Where were we?' You know, to know that what we're living and how we're living, it has a profound effect on hundreds of people. You know, and that's where the sign of hope comes in. -- Ms. Jo Anne Horstmann, L'Arche

"We're not out to be a solution for anything, but more of a sign"

Huh. As an idea person, I'm usually striving to get the big picture in order to put all the components of the picture into the proper context. I've found it easy to get overwhelmed with trying to be the solution to some huge problem. The first thing I thought of when I heard the above comments, was that it sounds a lot like Jesus. The Gospel of John tells us that if we attempted to record all the works Jesus did, the world couldn't hold all the books it would produce (John 21:25). He was indeed a busy man. But he didn't solve all the world's problems. In fact, John intentionally left out descriptions of much of what he did, and instead, listed seven of Jesus' miracles, referring to them as "signs." In other words, in the same way that L'Arche doesn't seek to meet the need of every individual with a mental handicap, Jesus didn't heal every sick person in Israel or feed every hungry person he came in contact with. Nevertheless, the things Jesus did choose to do were neither a meaningless attempt against an ocean of need (throwing back a starfish or two) nor the complete solution to a global problem. Each person he healed, each miracle he performed, was a sign -- a sign of hope, love and joy, a sign of his future kingdom, the domain in which he is king.

Maybe, just maybe, I'm free to not change the world, to not be a solution to some pressing global problem. Maybe God has called me to be like Jesus, like the L'Arche community, and to do little acts of goodness to ordinary people in my little community. Nothing extraordinary, but signs that point to a future kingdom -- a kingdom of hope, love, and joy.

Making the Move Back to the Mainland

2007-08-06T12:50:00.000+12:00

First of all, we want to thank all of you who have been praying with us for Tara's father and his battle with cancer. At last report, his particular kind of cancer is advancing very slowly and now appears not to be his biggest health concern.

A couple of weeks ago, after feeling increasingly miserable, he went into the hospital, and, as a result, is now on kidney dialysis three days a week. His condition is compounded by the fact that he also has diabetes to contend with. Since Tara's extended family lives in eastern Canada, this leaves her mother and sister with primary care responsibilities. Tara's mom has limited ability to provide complete care, especially if the situation should worsen. Tara's sister, Melanie, has been carrying the load the past few years, as well as caring for her own family.

Consequently, Tara and I have made the difficult decision to move back to Northern California in order to be near them and provide whatever assistance is necessary.

While in the midst of vacillating between staying and going, in my daily reading I came to 1-Timothy 5:4, "[Children or grandchildren] should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God." Tara's parents are not yet believers. Her sister and brother-in-law are very young in their faith. Nevertheless, over the past 15 years, they have grown more and more supportive of us and our life choices. We feel it is now our turn to serve them. We have been preaching St. Francis-like stuff to others -- "Preach the gospel always, if necessary, use words" -- now it's our turn to model it in the clearest way to the people that should most obviously be the recipients of such love and service.

We are hoping to find employment in Northern California and make a move in the next three or four months. However, if we find it difficult to find work or a suitable ministry situation from here, we will make the move anyway and pray that we will find something quickly after arrival.

Reprinted from baltzley::::broadcast, August 2, 2007

The Peace of Wild Things

2007-07-30T21:26:00.000+12:00

When despair grows in me
and I wake in the middle of the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting for their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

by Wendell Berry
-----------------

I've simply taken it as a symptom of adulthood and a sign of the times that I worry about many things. The war in Iraq. Migrant assimilation. The adjustment of international students. The crisis in Darfur. The overdue "warrant of fitness" for my car. The window I need to replace. The hedges I need to trim. The International Year of the Refugee -- 2.5 million just from Iraq. The fact that I need a job. My parents' well-being. Tara's dad's health. The presentation I should be working on. The list goes on. (We humans are the only "fearcasters" out there.) At times I feel the weight of the world. I thought it would be good to care about many 'important' issues and try to love many different people. I thought it would feel good to want to change the world, but it is a rather heavy burden to try and shoulder.

I try to get out and run two or three days a week. Often I take the coastal walk up from our house. (Every direction is up from our house; jogging has taught me that.) Halfway, there is a platform overlooking the cliff, perched high above the harbour. It makes for a good stopping point, especially after running up the thirty odd stairs it takes to get to the platform. To me, it has become a sacred place, where I stop to pray and survey the quiet harbour. Just yesterday, as I prayed, I watched a couple of brilliantly coloured Rosellas squawk and poke around the top of the pines. Moments later, two Grey Herons soared by. They could've been the prototype for the hang glider the way they stiffen their wings and drift from side to side. Down in the shallows at the water's edge I could see shorebirds and ducks. The still waters of the harbour seemed to be a mirror reflection of the sky, casting back the same steely, shimmering blue.

For a time, I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

M & M Conference

2007-07-30T12:46:00.000+12:00

This past week I attended a conference called "Mosques & Miracles." The promotional materials stated, "The Mosques & Miracles Conference will give you a clearer understanding of Islam and an overview of what God is doing worldwide. It will help you consider the Christian response to Islam in today’s society and impart necessary tools to assist you in conveying the message of Jesus in a relevant way. It will also help you value Muslim people more and to reach out with God’s love and not react in fear. Inspiring, encouraging, equipping and challenging. This conference is invaluable and should not be missed."

I came away disappointed. Firstly, despite the stated goal to "help you value Muslim people more and to reach out with God's love and not react in fear," the majority of the conference was packed with fear-inducing content of the Islamic goal of world domination, only periodically broken up with what appeared to be solely obligatory, good-natured remarks about Muslims as people. Most of the content, like a typical hour of CNN -- shocking statements and global events that likely no one in the room would ever be in position to do anything about anyway -- simply causes people to respond emotionally yet remain frustrated bystanders. In his recent bestselling book, The Assault on Reason, Al Gore makes the point that fear is primarily an instinctual response. When we see something hurling towards us, we duck. In moments like that we don't have time to write a dissertation on the rationale for ducking or not ducking. Then a moment later we might realize that it was only a child's helium-filled balloon, causing us to feel a little silly. However, we shouldn't feel silly, because that is how we're wired to respond -- quickly without rationalization. That is how fear works, to sum up Al Gore, with the risk of oversimplification -- when we're afraid, we don't think. We don't rationalize well. We fail to see the whole picture. We take a defensive posture.

We see this in the life of Abraham. He is called out of his comfort zone by God in order to be a blessing to all peoples of the earth. However, being a blessing is not as easy as it looks, especially when you're a stranger in a strange land as Abraham becomes. Entering Egypt, he feels fearful for his wife and a threat to his own life. This causes him to lie as a means of self-protection. His fearful reaction causes a major shift in his impact. Instead of being a blessing, he become a curse. The story ends with the Egyptian Pharaoh paying him off to get rid of him and giving him a police escort out of the country. The first words of God's next appearance to Abraham (Genesis 17) begins with the words, "Abraham, stop being afraid." God assures Abraham that Sarah will bear him a child (if he would just stop giving her to other men). God also tells him that despite his descendants facing some difficult years in the future, Abraham himself would live to be an old man. "Abraham, stop being afraid." We cannot be a blessing to others while crouching in fear. I believe that if we begin a presentation with all the reasons you should be afraid, very afraid, then there is a good chance that you've lost your audience. They become stranded in the state of fear, assuming a defensive stance, unable to see the big picture, not willing to rationalize and unwilling to take risks relationally.

Secondly, even though reference was made to the need for contextualization and the presenters' own cultural sensitivity in their varied experiences, I believe that the average attender left with very little information that will prove useful in their personal relationships with Muslims. It was a bit of a contradiction. On the one hand, they said it doesn't do any good to criticise Islamic teaching. On the other hand, that is all they did for two days.

Thirdly, they were speaking to the wrong audience. Probably 80% of those in attendance were over 55. (A problem, I will admit, the presenters had very little to do with) On the other hand, I don't have statistics on hand, but it wouldn't surprise me if 80% of the Muslims in New Zealand were under 30. I believe that it is the 18-30 year-olds who need to be having this discussion. As well, if the focus is not going to be on the relational sharing of the good news, but on the systemic (dark) realities and inherit intentions of global Islam and the immigrant Muslim community in Australia and NZ (my summary), then the conference was delivered to the wrong audience. The target audience should be community leaders or politicians, not average church-attending believers, aged 45-70. Again, they were given a bunch of fear-inducing information that they can do little about.

Content is important. Being informed makes you appear wiser than you are, or maybe it manifests your true wisdom. Even though it wasn't always what I wanted to hear, to be honest, I greatly appreciated the content Dr. Durie delivered about the systemic and theological challenges of a strong Islamic presence in our western societies. Nevertheless, my heart is also drawn to efforts like the Interfaith Youth Core that Dr. Eboo Patel started in Chicago. They desire to bring (young) people of various faiths together in community service, giving them a chance to show and tell each other about the best in their own faith tradition. Relationship is built around community service and the communitas that develops through serving together and discussing how faith motivates us to do such things for the common good.

I would love to gather Christian young people, aged 15-30, for a 'conversation' on how as followers of Jesus we can imagine relating to the Muslim community and individual Muslims. Is it possible to take initiative relationally? If we desire to 'proclaim' Jesus with our lives to our Muslim friends, what will it look like? What is the good news of Jesus to a Muslim? Knowing what we do about Islam, how do we live like Jesus anyway? What is the place of joint ventures, like IFYC? ...So many questions.

What do you think?

The Birthday of My Favorite Historian

2007-07-08T09:26:00.000+12:00

It's the birthday of the popular historian and biographer David McCullough (books by this author), born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (1933). He started out as a reporter for Sports Illustrated magazine. His first book was The Jonestown Flood (1968), and he wrote another book about the construction of the Brooklyn Bridge called The Great Bridge: The Epic Story of the Building of the Brooklyn Bridge (1972). But his big breakthrough was a biography of Harry Truman called Truman (1992), one of the best-selling biographies ever published at the time. [I also highly recommend Brave Companions: Portraits in History, a book of short stories of history (see photo) -- very accessible -- cjb]

David McCullough said, "History is about life. It's awful when the life is squeezed out of it and there's no flavor left, no uncertainties, no horsing around. It always disturbed me how many biographers never gave their subjects a chance to eat. You can tell a lot about people by how they eat, what they eat, and what kind of table manners they have."

From The Writer's Almanac for July 7, 2007

Reading the Book

2007-07-03T22:12:00.002+12:00

I love a good book. I’d heard of Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi. In fact, it was an Oprah Book Club selection and some people said it changed their life. “I have to have that book,” I told myself. And, lucky me, I was able to pick one up at a used bookstore for $7. When I returned home, after retrieving Reading Group Discussion Questions for Reading Lolita in Tehran off the internet, I found a nice quiet spot to sit down with my new book.

After reading over the questions briefly, I decided to start with question #7: “During the Gatsby trial Zarrin charges Mr. Nyazi with the inability to ‘distinguish fiction from reality’ (page 128). How does Mr. Nyazi’s conflation of the fictional and the real relate to the theme of the blind censor?”

“Whoa,” I thought to myself, “Who in the world is Zarrin or Mr. Nyazi?” “’Gatsby’ probably refers to “The Great Gatsby” by F. Scott Fitzgerald, but how? This is a book about reading famous books; I know that much.”

After turning to page 128 (chapter 18 by the way), I learn that Zarrin is a woman. “Maybe she’s in Tehran like the title says.” Page 128 reads like a mock trial of some kind, but it‘s incomplete. The last line of the page reads, “He wrote cheap stories for money …”

Looking back over the questions, I decide that I might have jumped ahead of myself. I go back up to Question #2, “Yassi adores playing with words, particularly with Nabokov’s fanciful linguistic creation ‘upsilamba’ (page 18). What does the word ‘upsilamba’ mean to you?”

“What does ’Upsilamba’ mean to me?! Are you serious?!” Beginning to get a little frustrated, I turn to page 18 (chapter 5). Reading page 18 (twice) doesn’t help. “’Upsilamba’ means nothing to me.

I sit back in my chair with a sign. Maybe Oprah was wrong. I can’t make sense of this book.

What a strange way to read a book, you’re thinking. You got it all wrong Chris; don’t you know how to read a book?

“Okay. I’ll give it one more try.” Picking up the book again – this time looking for a little personal relevance – I turn to page 34, where there’s a dried leaf being used as a bookmark (“Must be important,” I think to myself.) I read a paragraph.

“Many wished to be a part of his hidden kingdom, but he picked only a few who passed his secret test. He made all the bids, accepting and rejecting them for reasons of his own. In return for his help, he asked friends never to acknowledge or mention his name publicly. There were many whom he had cut from his life because they had gone against this demand. I remember one of his oft-repeated sentences: ‘I want to be forgotten; I am not a member of this club.’”

Pause. “Okay, what does this mean to me? Well, first of all, he doesn’t sound very friendly, whoever he is. I want to be a better friend … Maybe I should join the club … I could use the exercise.”

“That’s a little better,” I thought, “But what does it have to do with Tehran or Lolita or me, for that matter?”

A week later, I sold the book back to the same used bookstore for $3. I walked home very disappointed in Oprah.

****************

I have to admit, that's no way to read a book. But the tragedy is – my story reflects just a couple of the inadequate approaches we have to reading the Bible.

It's a hard life, but I believe in a better way

2007-07-02T17:55:00.000+12:00

"It's A Hard Life Wherever You Go" (Nanci Griffith)

I am a backseat driver from America
They drive to the left on Falls Road
The man at the wheel's name is Seamus
We pass a child on the corner he knows
And Seamus says, "Now, what chance has that kid got?"
And I say from the back, "I don't know."
He says, "There's barbed wire at all of these exits
And there ain't no place in Belfast for that kid to go."

I was a child in the sixties
Dreams could be held through TV
With Disney, Cronkite and Martin Luther
Oh, I believed, I believed, I believed
Now, I am a backstreet driver from America
I am not at the wheel of control
I am guilty, I am war, I am the root of all evil
Lord, and I can't drive on the left side of the road

It's a hard life
It's a hard life
It's a very hard life
It's a hard life wherever you go

If we poison our children with hatred
Then, the hard life is all they'll ever know
And there ain't no place in this world for these kids to go

Today, on my jog, in the providence of God, my iPod shuffled me this old Nanci Griffith tune, written in Belfast in the midst of the conflict in Northern Ireland. As an American living abroad, I can relate to her exasperation (as well as her struggle trying to drive on the left side of the road).

This past Thursday I met up with an young Iraqi Shiite Muslim woman (Too many adjectives! It sounds like I’m ordering at Starbucks; I don't know which order they are supposed to go in. Maybe I should consult my barista). She had attended one of my seminars last fall on working with Middle Eastern / Muslim students. She was a big help during the seminar. Normally I have a student panel of Muslim students at some point in the day, but, since it was school holidays, they had all fled town. She interjected her personal experiences, which created dialogue and illustrated many of my points.

I inquired about her and her husband’s extended family back in Baghdad. She told me that all of them had been driven from their homes and lost their jobs. They had family in the US and New Zealand, but right now they are not allowing anyone to leave. So they are stuck in the hell hole that Iraq has become. She has been giving money to an orphanage back home, but is unable to tell if the funds even get to those who need it most. We both expressed our frustration at the present realities, “There has got to be something that we can do!” She said that her and her husband, who have a nice life in Auckland, discussed it and are ready to move back in and rebuild Iraq, but presently, it is just too unstable and dangerous. We talked about partnering together -- me and some Christian friends, her and some Muslim friends and family -- to do something, when the time is right, to bring healing to her homeland.

I can’t take it anymore. I feel, as a follower of Jesus, that I must reach out, build relationships and create these kind of partnerships. There are numerous Christians and Muslims in this world that simply want to live in peace, have a job, a simple house, put their kids in school. As Ben Harper sings -- and I sometimes want to scream it like he does:

I'm a living sunset
Lightning in my bones
Push me to the edge
But my will is stone ...I believe in a better way

Fools will be fools
And wise will be wise
But I will look this world
Straight in the eyes ...I believe in a better way

What good is a man
Who won't take a stand
What good is a cynic
With no better plan ...I believe in a better way

Reality is sharp
It cuts at me like a knife
Everyone I know
Is in the fight of their life ...I believe in a better way

Take your face out of your hands
And clear your eyes
You have a right to your dreams
And don't be denied ...I believe in a better way

I believe in a better way

Big, Scary Dog Story

2007-06-12T14:14:00.000+12:00

An article written for InUnison, Student Association magazine, Unitec

The other day, while on my jog, I got to meet one of my neighbours. Actually, to be more accurate, I met his dog first. In fact, I was chased by his dog -- his big drooling, growling dog. My neighbour ran out to save me from certain death, and we began a conversation. Of course, it was all according to proper etiquette. I asked him, “What do you do?” He answered. Then he asked me, “And what do you do?” After telling him what I do, including about my role as a chaplain at Unitec, he inquired, “Are you a Christian?”

To which I replied, “Well, …my name is Christopher, which means ‘one who carries Christ.’ I was baptised before I was a year old. Taken to church nearly every Sunday, and have always celebrated Christmas and Easter. And I had no say in any of that.” After a pause, I continued, “Now I’m simply trying to follow Jesus. So I guess you could say that I am a ‘Christian-background follower of Jesus.’”

As we walked, he began to tell me a little about his own spiritual journey. For a short while we were like spiritual travelling companions, sharing our stories and experiences back and forth. Sharing life.

Whether you identify with a particular religious affiliation or not, you are likely on a spiritual journey of some sort. In fact, I meet a growing number of students who consider themselves “spiritual, but not religious.” As a Unitec chaplain, I want to be available to serve as a temporary travelling companion for you on your spiritual journey. And, to me, it makes little difference where you are on your journey or what you know or how you feel about religion.
Drop by and see me. I would love to hear your story. I am in building 500 Mondays 12-2 pm and Tuesdays 10 am-2 pm.

Want to change the world?

2007-06-12T14:02:00.000+12:00

Article written for InUnison, Unitec Student Association magazine

Want to change the world?

Well, maybe right now you’re just trying to get through the day. Nevertheless, somewhere deep down in your heart, you look at the world around you and you wish it could be different. Maybe you even get a little angry when you see injustice, poverty, or even simply, good people who never seem to get a break.

Maybe that’s part of what brought you to Unitec. You know, get some training. Get a qualification. You’re hoping that through your Unitec education, not only can you improve your own situation, but you can also gain the ability to help some other people out as well, from your family, to your community, and potentially to other communities somewhere in the world.
Have you thought about how your spirituality relates to your training and to your desire to make an impact on the world?
Did you now that there is a lot of evidence which shows that personal spirituality is behind why many individuals make lifelong commitments to social change? For example, prominent leaders of social movements such as Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, Vaclav Havel, Dorothy Day and Cesar Chavez drew strength and power from their spirituality in order to pursue social and political change. As well, recent sociological studies reveal that a deep sense of spirituality is a primary reason behind volunteering, philanthropic giving, caring for those in need and political involvement.

So, you want to change the world? Or, maybe, just your own world? Consider taking some time out for a bit of spiritual reflection. As a chaplain here at Unitec, I am available and equipped to help you get started. Drop by and see me. I can be found Mondays 12-2 pm and Tuesday 10 am-2 pm in building 500. I’m looking forward to hearing your story.

Image courtesy of www.northlandposter.com

Greetings from the Land of Misfit Toys

2007-06-11T16:28:00.000+12:00

PK periodically attends a Bible study I lead at Unitec-Waitakere, where I serve as a chaplain. He let me know today that he won’t be returning next term to complete his studies, even though he only has one term remaining to receive his diploma in English (the equivalent of an A.A. degree). He has a lot going right now. His family recently purchased an Iranian restaurant and they are going to need each and every one of them to run it. Along with his brother’s family, PK, his wife and two teenaged children will be pitching in.

After five years living here, PK and his family received their New Zealand passports today, which has more than pragmatic meaning to them. For, you see, they have been without legitimate passports for the past seven years. Seven years ago, back home in Iran, PK transferred all his legal possessions to his younger brother, bought fake passports for his entire family and fled to Thailand. Then to Malaysia, where they had to purchase another set of fake passports and flee to Japan. Upon entering Japan, with fake Greek passports, the immigration officer thought it would be a good time to practice his Greek. Ironic, huh? They probably got the lone Greek-speaking immigration officer in Japan. Next stop: three days in jail for the whole family!

According to PK, the Japanese officials were sympathetic and understanding, offered him the possibility to stay on in Japan, but PK had his heart set on getting to New Zealand. They were then deported back to Malaysia. Some time later, after acquiring another set of fake passports, they ended up in South Africa, where they made plans to get to New Zealand.

After their flight to New Zealand was in the air, they flushed their fake passports down the toilet on the plane (A bit of good advice they received from people who know about these things). After departing the plane, waiting in the line for passport control, they simply told the immigration official the truth,

“We are political refugees from Iran. We don’t have passports or visas. We want to stay in New Zealand. We've spent $65,000 USD getting this far! Don’t send us away, please.”

Luckily for PK, the immigration officials believed their story. So five years and lots of hard work and hardship later, they are grateful citizens of New Zealand. PK told me he often longs for home and believes that someday he will be able to return to Iran, but for now, he will remain a loyal, hardworking citizen of New Zealand -- an Iranian-born Kiwi. As we shook hands and traded phone numbers, I felt compelled to say, “Salaam, PK, to you and to your family. May God give you peace of heart and mind.”

At Unitec-Waitakere, where I serve as a chaplain, there are many stories like PK’s. Our little study is primarily made up of religious and political refugees from Mayanmar and Iran and immigrants from Korea and China.

Blessed is he... who gets the joke

2007-06-10T15:35:00.000+12:00

We proclaim an executed Messiah, a stumbling block to those looking for displays of power and a joke to those enthused by bright ideas. (My personal twisted version of 1-Cor. 1:23)

Frederick Buechner wrote:
There are even times when Jesus seems to see the comedy of his own life. His fellow Nazarenes, the ones he grew up with, worked with, played with, come at him with fire in their eyes to throw him off the cliff as a blasphemer at worst and a lunatic at best, and he says to them, "Doubtless you will quote to me this proverb, 'Physician heal yourself'" (Luke 4:23). He sees how they see the preposterousness of Jesus, the carpenter's son, putting himself forth as Christ, God's son. He sees how they are affronted by him as one who proclaims himself anointed to preach the good news to the poor when it is no news to anybody that he is himself the poorest of all. He says, "The blind receive their sight, the lame walk, the deaf hear, the dead are raised up ... / and blessed is he who takes no offense at me" (Matt. 11:5-6) which is to say blessed is he who sees that, all appearances to the contrary notwithstanding, he is who he says he is and does what he says he does if they will only, at admittedly great cost to their pride, their common sense, their sad vision of what is and is not possible in the stormy world, let him do it. Blessed is he, in other words, who gets the joke.
-- From Telling the Truth: The Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy & Fairy Tale, pg. 59.

Orden de la Hacha: The Order of the Hachet

2007-06-10T14:43:00.000+12:00

For homework last week, Maia, my 9-year old, had to come up with "10 Facts about Knights." In fact, did you know that Bill Gates received honorary knighthood from the Queen of England in 2005 for his business skills and for his work on poverty reduction?

It's Sir William of Seattle to you buddy!

Another interesting fact is the existence of female knights. In 1149, women of Barcelona who fought to save the Spanish town of Tortosa, repelling a Moorish attack, were made members of the Orden de la Hacha. The benefits? They were exempted from taxes and given precedence over men in public gathering. It is believed the order died out with the original members.

What do you think, how about a revival of the Orden de la Hacha?

NZ Weather

2007-06-07T14:06:00.000+12:00

[Today's weather reminded me of this speech Asia made last year. We had a short summer, followed by a lovely fall, but winter in on its way. -- The Editor]

by Asia Baltzley

New Zealand weather really drives me crazy at times. Don’t you sometimes feel like you want to scream when it starts raining for the sixth time that day? I know in America people picture New Zealand as paradise on earth, with it’s beautiful beaches and rolling green hills, as they see in the countless movies filmed here. But I knew they were wrong when I first arrived in Aoteoroa. You see, they only saw 25% of New Zealand. That’s right: summer. I hate to say it, but the other 75% is: rain, wind and sometimes snow.

When I first came to New Zealand, I came in winter, so I saw the worst of it. I remember when I first heard the wild Kiwi wind. I nearly jumped out of my seat when I heard it howl like a crazy cat. Yeeeoooow! “What in the world is that?!” I half expected them to say, “No worries, that’s our pet tiger.” I also remember leaving the umbrella at home on what looked like a perfectly sunny day and paying for it later. But this winter is even worse than the last! I mean rain, wind and even, a power cut. You feel like screaming, “What did we do to deserve this?!”

Wouldn’t it be great if it stayed summer all year long? You could spend every weekend at the beach and never worry about getting caught in the rain again. But as we all know, every silver lining has a cloud (or something like that). And if it was summer all year long it would mean … yes, it would mean, THE ATTACK OF THE TOURISTS!!! Every beach and ice cream shop would be flooded with foreigners wearing cameras around their necks and socks with their sandals. Yes, we’d have tourists coming out our ears!

So maybe the winter isn’t so bad. I guess every cloud does have a silver lining. So welcome this winter with open arms, but be sure you are wearing a jumper and have a good umbrella.

2006

Celebrity Look-alikes?

2007-06-07T10:26:00.001+12:00

http://www.myheritage.com

Scary isn't it? Give it a try and see who the stupid computer thinks you look like!

Dragged Dust Down

2007-06-05T11:58:00.000+12:00

Isaiah 6

Theirs is not a voice like other voices
Tangible like a cello's bellow
It shivers like the metro's mellow, inescapable, approaching quake
Do I or does this huge, stone temple shake?

Tri-winged
Ablaze as flames in flight
Overwhelmed with meekness before effulgent light
Humbled
Compelled
Hiding ember-red faces and ashamed feet
Amassed, the chorus cries
Enduringly they repeat:

Unique! Pure! There is no other!
Unique! Pure! There is no other!
Unique! Pure! There is no other!

The room -- a candlewick awash with life-light

My soul
Exposed and naked
Suddenly aware of sin's night
Drags my body dust down

February 12, 2001

Caravaggio

2007-06-04T16:14:00.001+12:00

Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio was an Italian baroque painter who is probably the best example of the naturalistic painting style of the early 17th century. He used models from the lower classes of society, both in his early secular works and later in his religious paintings. Equally important is his introduction of dramatic light-and-dark effects - termed chiaroscuro - into his works.

While 'translating' the context of many of the Biblical stories into the look and feel of his own day, Caravaggio also captured the original raw emotion and dramatic reality of the scenes.

For as you know, history is full of overly spiritualised and sanitised Christian paintings, complete with haloed beautiful people and winged angels sitting on clouds. Caravaggio's compositions are The Message version of Christian-themed paintings, one might say.
The Calling of Saint Matthew (1600) is noted for its dramatic use of "cellar light," streaming in from a source above the action, to illuminate the hand gesture of Christ (based on Michelangelo's Adam on the Sistine ceiling) and the other figures, most of whom are in contemporary dress. There are a couple of things that intrigue me in this particular work. First, is the way in which Jesus is hidden in the darkness behind Peter, the light glancing off his thin face and illuminating his God-the Father-like hand. Second, is the manner in which the bearded Matthew, seated with his rowdy friends, points at himself as if to say, "Who me?" As if he was entirely caught off guard by Jesus' call to "follow me."

The incredulity of Saint Thomas (1602).

Caravaggio's personal life was turbulent. He was often arrested and imprisoned. He fled Rome for Naples in 1606 when charged with murder. Caravaggio died on the beach at Port'Ercole in Tuscany on July 18, 1610, of a fever contracted after a mistaken arrest.

Bio summary adapted from:
http://www.christusrex.net/www2/art/caravaggio.htm

Relevancy

2007-06-01T16:25:00.000+12:00

As we dream and plan toward launching a new program to engage university students in community service and social action, I am reminded that I am a idealist. I joke that I would thoroughly love ministry if it wasn't for all the people involved; for I love ideas and imagining innovative systems. (Our pastor has a PhD in Theoretical Physics; maybe I should have gone the route of Theoretical Ministry.) Certain thoughts race through my mind as we dream: community impact, creating a decentralized movement, relevancy to Generation Y, can our generation change the world?, etc. However, as we look seriously at the feasibility of implementing our new program, we meet both very encouraging people and possibilities and potentially discouraging realities.

One reality, that should be obvious, but the implications of which often surprise me is -- New Zealand is a small country with an diminishing Christian presence. I was recently reminded of this when I attended a Christian staff meeting at the university where I serve as chaplain. I and one other person. You carve time out of schedule, maybe you even do a fair amount of preparation, then, one person shows up. As my friend said, "Whether 100 or one, you still do the same amount of preparation." This past weekend, I preached Sunday morning, had a Sunday afternoon Bible study, then three separate meetings on Monday, including the Christian staff meeting. None of them went as expected. Ministry here can be discouraging.

These events drove me back to one of my favourite Henri Nouwen books, In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership. In my mind, nobody, since Jesus, turns the world on its head like Nouwen. (How's that for hyperbole!) And for such an educated man, he was always trying to return to the foundational practices and simplify following Jesus rather than, like many authors, give in to the professional temptation to take ancient ideas and practices and go and on about them, sounding intelligent and innovative, essentially writing only for their colleagues, and, in the end, only complicating what is basically profoundly simple (despite requiring great trust and perseverance to actually put it into practice).

Well, enough of me. Here is what got underlined in the first third of the book, the section entitled From Relevance to Prayer. (The Buechner quote is a bonus)

For the preacher to be relevant to the staggering problems of history is to risk begin irrelevant to the staggering problems of the ones who sit there listening out of their own histories. -- F. Buechner, Telling the Truth: The Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy & Fairy Tale

The Temptation: To Be Relevant
The Christian leader of the future is called to be completely irrelevant and to stand in this world with nothing to offer but his or her own vulnerable self.

Jesus' first temptation was to be relevant -- to turn stones into bread...when he was asked to prove his power as the Son of God by the relevant behaviour of changing stones into bread, he clung to his mission to proclaim the word and said, "Human being live not by bread alone, but by every word that come from the mouth of God." Pg. 18

The secular world around us is saying in a loud voice, "We can take care of ourselves. We do not need God, the church, or a priest. We are in control. And if we are not, then we have to work harder to get in control. The problem is not lack of faith, but lack of competence. If you are sick you need a competent doctor; if you are poor, you need competent politicians; if there are technical problems, you need competent engineers; if there are wars, you need competent negotiators. God, the church, and the ministers have been used for centuries to fill the gaps of incompetence, but today the gaps are being filled in other ways, and we no longer need spiritual answers to practical questions. Pg. 20

It is here that the need for a new Christian leadership becomes clear. The leader of the future will be the one who dares to claim his irrelevance in the contemporary world as a divine vocation that allows him or her to enter into a deep solidarity with the anguish underlying all the glitter of success and to bring the light of Jesus there. Pg. 22

The Question: "Do you love me?"
The question is not: How many people take you seriously? How much are you going to accomplish? Can you show me some results? But: Are you in love with Jesus? Pg. 24

The Discipline: Contemplative Prayer

To live a life that is not dominated by the desire to be relevant but is instead safely anchored in the knowledge of God's first love, we have to be mystics. A mystic is a person whose identity is deeply rooted in God's first love. Pg. 28

Through contemplative prayer we can keep ourselves from being pulled from one urgent issue to another and from becoming strangers to our own and God's heart.

Dealing with burning issues without being rooted in a deep personal relationship with God easily leads to divisiveness because, before we know it, our sense of self is caught up in our opinion about a given subject. But when we are securely rooted in personal intimacy wit the Source of Life, it will be possible to remain flexible without being relativistic, convinced without being rigid, willing to confront without being offensive, gentle and forgiving without being soft, and true witnesses without being manipulative. Pg. 31-32 -- Henri Nouwen, In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership

Simone Weil said it well: “To be always relevant, you have to say things which are eternal.”

more ::: quotes

2007-05-31T12:44:00.000+12:00

If we do not serve what coheres and endures, we serve what disintegrates and destroys. -- Wendell Berry, May 25th, 2007

Usually the main problem with life conundrums is that we don't bring enough imagination. -- Thomas Moore, Care of the Soul

The Jesus of Suburbia is a lie. -- Green Day

It is possible, as I have learned again and again, to be in one's place, in such company, wild or domestic, and with such pleasure, that one cannot think of another place that one would prefer to be - or of another place at all. -- Wendell Berry

It maybe when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey.
-- Wendell Berry

To be sane in a mad time is bad for the body, worse for the soul. -- Wendell Berry

Faith is what someone knows to be true, whether they believe it or not. -- Flannery O'Connor

We don't need permission. What we need is a mission. -- Erwin McManus

Painting by Caz Novak (www.caznovak.co.nz)

"...Then to US you shall return."

2007-05-28T16:01:00.000+12:00

Today I had the privilege of participating in a multi-faith presentation on death, dying and spirituality to first-year nursing students. Of course, I was responsible for the Christian perspective (I know what you're thinking, "Was there no one else available; they must have been desperate.")

At the tail-end of Ishmael's presentation of the Muslim perspective he shared a short verse from the Qur'an. His PowerPoint slide read: "Every soul shall taste death, then to US you shall return." (29:57) (The pronouns for God in the Qur'an are plural -- "we" and "us". So, in order to differentiate the "us" in this verse and show that it refers to God, he capitalised it). As Ishmael read it aloud, he caught himself, "'Every soul shall taste death, then to... not to the United States...to GOD.' They may want everything to return to them, but it doesn't!" The 150 students broke out in laughter.

Later, as I began my presentation I said, "Ishmael, my brother, there are exceptions. As an American citizen, when I die, I will be returned to the US, at least my body!"

Death and dying can be so funny.

BARRIERS PREVENTING AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS

2007-05-26T16:28:00.000+12:00

Because real, deepening relationships don’t come naturally or easily, it is important for those of us seeking to be Community Builders to address three specific barriers to the formation of authentic relationships.

FEAR

When a situation is new or uncertain, people become afraid. The natural compulsion when afraid is to seek protection from what we fear. However, as children of Abraham , believers are called to move into the unknown in order to be a blessing to others. When we fear, like Abraham, we do things that feel to others more like a curse than a blessing. It always takes trust in God to be a blessing. Abraham’s fear-induced actions (better, reactions) among the Egyptians caused so much trouble that they paid him to leave and gave him a police escort out of the country! Not really what God had in mind back in chapter 12. Then, God in his goodness appears to Abraham with these words, “Do not be afraid, Abram, for I will protect you, and your reward will be great.” He even assures him that, even though things will not always be rosy for his descendents, Abraham himself will “die in peace, at a ripe old age.” In essence, he said, “Stop fearing for yourself, Abraham. Start trusting me, so that I can bless you, so you can bless others, like I promised.” We all have a tendency to be more of a curse than a blessing to one another because of our fears. Once we’re aware of this, we can begin helping other believers conquer their fears. And, with faith in a good God, they can be a blessing to others.

COMPETITION

We also need to address our tendency to compete with one another. In sharing times with small groups, I have been told that “men compete with one another; women compare themselves to one another.” Whether we are talking about competing or comparing, the natural impulse is still the same -- we desire to come out on top. And, if we are competing with someone or comparing ourselves to someone, it becomes impossible for us to show that person compassion. For compassion cannot be achieved by putting ourselves above another. By definition, compassion is “feeling the hurts of others and doing all that is possible to relieve them.” We must, with the Spirit’s power, help new believers move from their natural compulsion: competition and comparison to what is necessary for authentic relationships to take place: compassion.

ISOLATION

Finally, we must help the new believers move from isolation to connectedness – from individualism to community. Many people have come to believe that a cocoon of isolation from others is the safest place on earth, because they have hurts from past interactions with others that were full of fear and competition. A plan that may feel safe, but that is terribly lonely and not at all what God desires for them. We encourage groups of believers to build a safe spiritual community, where, for example, “the absent are safe with us.” We move believers away from isolation to connectedness through modeling and encouraging vulnerability, transparency and mutual confession. As you can imagine, a group of people full of fear and competition will never be able to engage in these brave disciplines.

As Community Builders, we must intentionally address all three of these natural compulsions because they are barriers to authentic relationships. We can help believers move from fear (curse) to blessing (through faith), from competition to compassion, and from isolation to connectedness, creating fertile ground for authentic relationships and a thriving spiritual community.
[Art work: "Communitas" (c) 2003 Peter W. Michel]

::: Quotes :::

2007-05-23T22:04:00.001+12:00

"Humankind was given a share in His wisdom and is called to responsible living and to be a partner of God in the redemption of the world." -- Abraham Joshua Heschel

"Through worship, prophetic word, and protest, we are called to expose oppressive social realities and insist: it could be otherwise." -- Brueggemann

"We want only to show you something we have seen and to tell you something we have heard...that here and there in the world and now and then in ourselves is a New Creation." -- Paul Tillich

"Maybe what is good about religion is playing that the kingdom will come, until -- in the joy of your playing, the hope and rhythm and comradeship and poignance and mystery of it -- you start to see that the playing is itself the first fruits of the kingdom's coming and of God's presence within us and among us." -- F. Buechner

“A human being is a part of the whole that we call the universe, a part limited in time and space. And yet we experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest - a kind of optical illusion of our consciousness. This illusion is a prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for only the few people nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living beings and all of nature.” --Albert Einstein

"What's lost is nothing to what's found, and all the death that ever was, set next to life, would scarcely fill a cup." Godric, F. Buechner

Photo of Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel. Courtesy of the Library of the Jewish Theological Seminary of America

Jesus:::alone

2007-05-23T21:57:00.000+12:00

Remember what happens in the story where the three disciples see Jesus transfigured?

Six days later Jesus took with him Peter, James, and John the brother of James, and led them privately up a high mountain. And he was transfigured before them. His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became white as light. Then Moses and Elijah also appeared before them, talking with him. So Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good for us to be here. If you want, I will make three shelters – one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” While he was still speaking, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my one dear Son, in whom I take great delight. Listen to him!” When the disciples heard this, they were overwhelmed with fear and threw themselves down with their faces to the ground. But Jesus came and touched them. “Get up,” he said. “Do not be afraid.” When they looked up, all they saw was Jesus alone. (Matthew 17:1-8, The Net Bible)

I often think about this story. After all the commotion, bright lights, thundering voices, the appearance of Moses and Elijah (the law and the prophets) and Peter’s building project to erect some sort of memorial, when the air clears, all that is left is Jesus alone. At times, Christianity and churchianity disappoint me, but they are not what it is all about; it is all about Jesus.

Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honour, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls! (Hebrews 12, The Message)

Faith, Music & Politics: Rickie Lee Jones and Derek Webb

2007-05-03T10:50:00.000+12:00

USA TODAY
You might not expect to find folk-rock renegade Rickie Lee Jones and Christian singer/songwriter Derek Webb on the same concert bill. But on their latest albums, the troubadours do share a goal: They both want you to get to know Jesus better — and not necessarily through messages provided in mass media or houses of worship.

Jones' The Sermon on Exposition Boulevard, released in February, was inspired by a different spiritual journey than that informing Webb's Mockingbird, which has been generating praise, and some controversy, since last year.

"I came to religion wanting to take what's beautiful about it,," says Jones, 52. "I think we are spiritual beings, but Christianity's position in the culture can be so aggressive that it makes people defend themselves coming to the table."

So in 2005, when Jones' friend Lee Cantelon asked her to take part in a spoken-word recording of The Words, his book outlining Jesus' teachings — and distinguishing those teachings from what Cantelon views as the dogmatic interpretations that have evolved in organized religion — the project seemed a natural fit. Jones decided that she would rather sing than speak, though.

Jones wouldn't define the lean, starkly atmospheric songs she co-wrote with Cantelon and Peter Atanasoff as Christian music. "I guess I assume that would mean a Christian person trying to convince me of something, to sell an idea."

Webb, 32, began his career in that market, as part of the Christian band Caedmon's Call. "But as I looked around, I thought, 'where are our artists who are talking about politics? About the government?' It's the job of creative people, and especially those who are followers of Jesus, to be radical truth-tellers. That's what the prophets did."

With Mockingbird, his third solo effort, the Nashville-based artist wasn't concerned about ruffling feathers. On one track, A King and a Kingdom, he sings of "two great lies," identifying one as "that Jesus was a white, middle-class Republican, and if you wanna be saved you have to learn to be like Him."

Webb muses that Jesus "wasn't a white middle-class Democrat either, incidentally. The point is that he didn't walk any party line. But I think that the church, especially where I live, makes a terrible habit of co-opting the more conservative political party.

"I'm not saying the church shouldn't be concerned with issues. My problem is that they've grown so predictable, and Jesus was in no way predictable. The people he loved most lavishly were often socially stigmatized, and he reserved some of his harshest language for the law-keeping church leadership. That's the opposite, in a lot of cases, of what the evangelical church puts forth."

Webb espouses the kind of evangelism he associates with Jesus' original followers, "which was telling people about Jesus and what he did. But the church in the West has made some distinction between that and acts of mercy: caring for the poor, clothing the naked, caring for our neighbors."

Jones, who defines her political leanings more firmly to the left, echoes Webb's concerns. "Capitalistic religion inhibits the idea of service. You're supposed to be in the business of serving yourself, and if you don't do that, you must be some sort of tree-hugging idiot."

On Sermon's Where I Like It Best, Jones sings wryly, "See all those people praying on TV and the churches/They like to make a big parade out of what they're doing." Jones explains: "What I'm telling people is that prayer belongs to you, and you have to take it back."

Webb, who has a new album, The Ringing Bell, due in May, admits that he's been getting fewer invitations to play in churches since Mockingbird's release. But he has no regrets about answering to what he considers a higher authority.

"I hope to tell people what I really see when I look at the world," Webb says. "I know the issues can be complicated, and that a 3½-minute pop song isn't the best venue for some of them. But it's the only medium I have, and it's as good a place as any to start."

Find this article at: http://www.usatoday.com/life/music/news/jones-webb.htm?csp=34

Newbigin on Evangelism in the City

2007-05-03T09:10:00.000+12:00

"...In all our preaching and teaching about the hope which the gospel makes possible, we have to keep steadily in view the fact that what the gospel offers is not just hope for the individual but hope for the world. Concretely I think this means that the congregation must be so deeply and intimately involved in the secular concerns of the neighborhood that it becomes clear to everyone that no one or nothing is outside the range of God's love in Jesus. Christ's message, the original gospel, was about the coming of the kingdom of God, that is to say God's kingly rule over the whole of creation and the whole of humankind. That is the only authentic gospel. And that means that every part of human life is within the range of the gospel message: in respect of everything, the gospel brings the necessity for choice between the rule of God and the negation of that rule. If the good news is to be authentically communicated, it must be clear that the church is concerned about the rule of God and not about itself. It must be clear, that is, that the local congregation cares for the well-being of the whole community and not just for itself.

"To put it even more sharply: the hope, of which the church is called to be the bearer in the midst of a famine of hope, is a radically other-worldly hope. Knowing that Jesus is king and that he will come to reign, it fashions its life and invites the whole community to fashion its life in the light of this reality, because every other way of living is based on illusion. It thus creates signs, parables, foretastes, appetizers of the kingdom in the midst of the hopelessness of the world. It makes it possible to act both hopefully and realistically in a world without hope, a world which trades in illusions. If this radically other-worldly dimension of the church's witness is missing, then all its efforts in the life of the community are merely a series of minor eddies in a current which sweeps relentlessly in the opposite direction.

"But if one insists as I am doing upon the radically other-worldly nature of the Christian hope, it is necessary at once to protect this against a misunderstanding which has brought this aspect of the Christian message into disrepute. A recognition of this other-worldly element has often been linked with a privatization of religion characteristic of our post-Enlightenment culture. When this happens, the church is seen not as a bearer of hope for the whole community, but as a group of people concerned about their own ultimate safety. It is thus seen as something essentially antisocial. And, especially in a religiously plural society, this attracts justifiable censure. 'Evangelism' is then easily identified as 'proselytism' – the natural attempt of every human community to add to its own strength at the expense of others. From the point of view of people concerned with the total welfare of a human community, 'evangelism' is seen as something at best irrelevant and at worst destructive of human unity.

"No sharing of the good news takes place except in the context of a shared human life, and that means in part, the context of shared conversation. In such conversation we talk about real things and we try both to communicate what we know and to learn what we do not know. The sharing of the good news about the kingdom is part of that conversation and cannot happen without it... It is a kind of of conversation which is not an alternative to but the occasion for sharing our hope, and it leads some people to ask the sort of questions that lead further.

"Some, but not many. I certainly cannot tell any story of 'success' in terms of numbers. I guess that this is the experience of many working in such areas. The church remains small and vulnerable. I do not find in this ground for discouragement. The kingdom is not ours. The times and seasons are not in our management. It is enough to know that Jesus reigns and shall reign, and to be privileged to share this assurance with our neighbors and to be able to do and say the small deeds and words that make it possible for others to believe."

(Taken from Paul Weston, ed. Lesslie Newbigin, A Missionary Theologian: A Reader (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans and London: SPCK, 2006).

What does it look like when someone 'really' follows Jesus?

2007-05-02T16:55:00.000+12:00

Shane Claiborne, in his book "The Irresistible Revolution," relates a story from when he was a youth leader, and one of his high school kids "who had given his life to Jesus" got busted only a few weeks later for having acid in school. In disappointment, he ask him, What happened, bro? What went wrong?" The student just shrugged his shoulders and said, "I got bored."

Claiborne goes on to write, "God forgive us for all those we have lost because we have made the gospel boring. I am convinced that if we lose kids to the culture of drugs and materialism, of violence and war, it's because we don't dare them, not because we don't entertain them. It's because we make the gospel too easy, not because we make it too difficult. Kids want to do something heroic with their lives, which is why they play video games and join the army. But what are they to do with a church that teaches them to tiptoe through life so they can arrive safely at death?"

He continues, "I'm not sure where we got the notion that Christianity is safe or that Christians should play it cool. [Or run programs intended to show non-Christians how cool we Christians really are!, The Editor] Growing up, I always thought that Christians were good upstanding citizens, but the more I get to know Jesus, the more trouble he seems to get me into."

Something to think about.

Conversing on Spirituality: The Jesus Model

2007-04-25T18:18:00.000+12:00

It’s an important question: as a Christian chaplain in a very “multi” environment -- multi-faith, multi-cultural, multi-in almost any category you can think of (not to mention occasional moments of anti-faith, anti-religion) -- how can we relate to others about our common spirituality? How do we utilise our common spiritual experience (or, at times, lack thereof) to make authentic connections with students from a wide variety of faith-backgrounds?

When I was asked to lead this discussion, I was immediately reminded of one of my favourite Jesus-stories -- his encounter with the Samaritan woman in John 4. On a journey north with his disciples, Jesus intentionally or unintentionally ended up alone in, what for a Jew was, “a bad part of town.” We know that at the time, there was great political, ethnic and religious tension between Jews and Samaritans, and Jesus was all alone on their turf. What can we learn from Jesus about “Conversing on Spirituality” from this potentially anxious and troublesome encounter?

1. Jesus courageously made first contact
The woman was shocked. Later, when they saw it, the disciples were shocked. By simply asking the woman for a drink of water, Jesus circumvented generations of political, social, ethnic, religious and gender barriers and assumptions.

Be courageously comfortable being in the minority
Bravely circumvent preconceptions and barriers

2. Jesus focused on the common desire for spiritual experience
He jumped off his request for water into a discussion about spiritual thirst and how to attain a sense of fulfilment in our quest for supernatural experience. In effect, he was saying, “There is more to life than physical thirst. There is something more satisfying than water.” He touched on the “divine dissatisfaction” which can be found in all of us.

Observe the eternal realities in people’s stories
(e.g., justice, goodness, evil, love, sacrifice)

3. Jesus avoided historical religious arguments
Once you are perceived to be a spiritual or religious person, people will ask you religious questions. “Which temple is the correct one to worship at?” “So who is right in this or that religious argument?” Even though Jesus sensed the sincerity of her query, he looked right past age-old arguments about religious systems and focused on the truth that God is more concerned with relating to people at a heart level.

Don’t get caught up in defending religious systems
Use religious questions as transition points to deeper issues

4. Jesus acknowledged the importance of integrity
Jesus did this in two ways. First, he commended her honesty about the reality of her personal situation. He could tell that despite her dodgy background, she was genuine and willing to be honest with herself and others. Second, he was graciously clear with her that, in his view, the Biblical Story, sourced in the Jews, was the true meta-narrative -- the Big Story that makes sense of history.

Listen for integrity in other’s personal stories
Don’t be afraid to explain why you choose to live according to the Story you do

5. Jesus’ good news: there is a Spiritual God who desires connection with honest, spiritual seekers
Jesus pulls the conversation together with some good news. Religious systems and physical expressions of worship are mere symbols and shadows. Beyond them is a Spirit God who is eager to connect with people. We need to realise that we are spiritual beings. Many of us have terribly underdeveloped spiritual lives and feel a sense of “divine dissatisfaction,” not quite sure of what we are longing for. We are also relational beings. The more we know of the other the better.

Listen for and relate to other’s “divine dissatisfaction”

6. Jesus was vulnerable, open and direct with an honest seeker
By this time, despite their differences, Jesus knew her sincerity and desire to connect with God. He spoke to her as truthfully and directly as she to him, “I am the Messiah.” (John 4:26 NLT). One of my friends refers to this type of person as someone with “the kingdom in their eyes.” Whatever faith-background they come from, they are sincere in their pursuit of truth and a connection with God. For this woman, Jesus skipped the parables and the “for those with ears to hear” statements and spoke plainly to her. Then, one thing led to another: a simple conversation → she shares with others → the whole town gets involved → Jesus stays on for two more days.

Meet them where they are on their own spiritual journey
Look for the “kingdom in their eyes”
Pray that one thing would lead to another

It all starts with a simple conversation.

Painting by He Qi (http://www.heqigallery.com)

GOOD Magazine -- Portrait of Kay Warren

2007-04-17T16:27:00.000+12:00

Check out this quality article on Kay Warren's passion to assist in positioning local churches worldwide onto the frontlines in the battle against HIV/AIDS.

Preacher's Wife: Kay Warren is convincing Christians worldwide that AIDS is their problem.

Words By Patrick James
Photos By Trujillo-Paumier

Every Sunday, atop a hilly expanse of acreage in Lake Forest, California, Saddleback Church welcomes 22,000 of the evangelical faithful for worship. Kay Warren, 53, who co-founded Saddleback with her husband, Pastor Rick Warren (also 53 and the author of the perennial best-seller The Purpose Driven Life), sees power in these numbers. As the executive director of Saddleback’s HIV/ AIDS Initiative, she contends that the global church is the best hope in the fight against the ever-growing AIDS pandemic.

Want to read more ... http://www.goodmagazine.com/section/Portraits/preachers_wife

Tramping Through Orc Country

2007-04-13T16:25:00.000+12:00

At the end of March, with six men from our church, I hiked the challenging one-day “tramp” across Tongariro National Park. The 17 km. Tongariro Crossing has long been known as one of the best one-day hikes in New Zealand, if not the world. However, in recent years, as the brochures attest, tourists come to visit “The Lord of the Rings” movie locations, including Mordor, Door of Sammath Naur, the slopes of Mt. Doom, Barren Waste Lands, Sea of Boulders and Orc Country.

So, the choice is yours, (1) for $185 per person you can take the tour, or Door Number (2) you can pay the $25 round trip bus fare and hike the whole thing. I recommend the hike.

Take a look, see what you think. http://picasaweb.google.com/seajaybee/TongariroCrossing

Rabia at the Hyatt

2007-04-10T16:19:00.000+12:00

Short story by Tara Baltzley

Differences exist, but not in the city of love. Thus my vows and yours, I know they are the same. – Rabi’a of Basra, 8th century Islamic mystic

I can’t decide which is more breathtaking – the Himalaya-like mountains which seem close enough to touch, or this Hyatt hotel. Nothing beats the two at once. Sipping a cappuccino, in a lushly upholstered chair, staring out the immense glass windows at the Tien Shan. (Did I mention the air conditioning?!) They are always white-capped, the Tien Shan, even in this blistering Bishkek summer heat. Once you’ve seen them, anything else is just a hill. I almost prefer viewing them from the pristine cocoon of the Hyatt, than hiking through them. This is my favourite escape. I suppose it’s my only escape, really.

After 7 years here, which seem more like endurance than living, we were thrilled when they finally finished it. Construction started about the time we came, built by Italians, who eventually ran out of money. For several years it stood, like much else here, half-finished. We joke that you can’t tell whether things are being built or torn down. They are half-way to something and wholly deserted. It was then bought (for quite a bargain, I’d imagine) by Hyatt Hotels and finished. It’s supposedly a 5-star. Though I recall a stuffy American businessman referencing a cigar butt which remained visible in an ashtray for ‘far longer than one would in a true 5-star hotel’. Still, for us, it has been salvation. An oasis in a desert of post-soviet architecture, food and culture. Glad I can get away and that I’ve got Rabia back home tidying the place, while I catch my breath here.

,,,,,,,,

Where is her black skirt? Oh Kudai (God), help me find it quick. I’ve got to hurry to make it back before she does. She said she’s picking up the girls from school first, so I’ve got till 3:20pm or so. I’ll need a taxi both ways – if I take the bus there’s no way I’ll pull it off. Ah, here it is! It’s so wonderful that Elaine and I are the same size. She’s petite and thin. Not like most American women – especially after they return from a few months at home. I don’t know how she does it. She can afford anything she likes to eat. She’s always bringing home food from the import stores. Not shopping at the open bazaar like we do. She tries to put them away before I see. Like a child hiding a cookie for later.
I’m thin because my salary is all our family lives on with Nurbek earning so little, despite being a surgeon. His friend Sadat, attended a neurosurgery conference in Moscow with Americans. One asked what his monthly salary was and when Sadat told him, the man remarked that he spent at least that on lunch everyday! Elaine thought it was awfully insensitive for him to say that. Still, it’s prestigious here to be a surgeon. I can’t decide what matters more, money or dignity. I make at least $75 a month cleaning this apartment . . . but after so many years I can’t stand the shame anymore. Now that the girls are in school all day I can’t even pretend that I’m their language teacher anymore…I pray I don’t screw up this interview. I’ll make a lot less, but I’m desperate to get the job.

,,,,,,,,

“Vood you like another cappuccino?” Natalia asks.
“No thanks. Could I just have a glass of tap water … with a slice of lemon? … oh yes, and shyot pazhaloosta , I mean, check please.”
“No problem” she says, smiling.

I used to just speak Russian to her, but I think she’s embarrassed to speak it in here. And the Kyrgyz waitresses slip into low, muffled tones when I use Kyrgyz. They’re thrilled that we’ve chosen to learn their language, which the Russians never bothered to do. But, still ashamed to use it in front of their Russian co-workers. So, I just use English when I come here.

All the wait staff have decent English. Where they’ve acquired it varies. Most have foreigner friends who’ve helped them improve to this level – probably helped them get their job as well. They’re also all nice looking. The cream of the crop really – capable of so much more – yet this is the best gig in town. Their uniforms are crisp and they fit right in with us, more than they would outside. Of course, they’re still subservient, just better dressed and polished.

Most the missionaries treat them respectfully – often conveying an unspoken, ‘good for you that you’ve gotten such a good job’. Not that I can say the same for the business and embassy people. They remind me of the men’s club in Out of Africa. Condescending. Superior. Suspicious. Like the woman inviting me to join the International Women’s Club telling me they keep their dues ‘a bit on the high side to keep the locals out.’

Sometimes I loathe the scene here, yet I need it. I often feel guilty afterwards. Especially when I arrive home to Rabia and make no indication of where I’ve been. Like a man who enjoyed a business-lunch tryst, greeting his wife after work.

Rabia. I never refer to her as my maid. Though I guess that’s what she is. When we first arrived here, I had no intention of having house help. Even when I found that the few other foreigners who were here then had ‘maids’, I resisted. I quickly found sweeping floors, and mopping by hand (no mops here then), while raising a 1-year old and studying Kyrgyz language full-time to be overwhelming. Not to mention the general level of culture stress. So, when my language teacher pleaded with me to give work to her sister, I finally let go of my pride and hired Rabia.

Her namesake was a famous Sufi mystic. She was surprised when I told her that. She hadn’t known there’s a Sufi past here in Kyrgyzstan. Never heard of Sufism for that matter. That’s what the predominant branch of Islam was before the Russians took over. I’ve actually read some of her writings. They say she had visions of Jesus. Of course, she called him ‘Isa’, as he’s called in Arabic in the Koran.

A lot of people, even Muslims, are surprised to hear Jesus is written about favourably in the Koran. The references to His followers, on the other hand, are mixed. And history from the Crusades to George W. hasn’t exactly helped.

But Muhammed seemed to have no problem with Jesus. So, I figure maybe he did appear to some of those early Muslim mystics. Like Rabi’a. There are others who wrote about Him too. There’s a poet from Uzbekistan. His name is well-known amongst the Uzbeks. I hear the government won’t publish his writings now that they’ve found he wrote about Jesus.

He’s ‘appeared’ to a number of our Kyrgyz friends – usually in dreams. People who’d never heard of him before. He reveals himself as ‘Isa’ like their Koran says. He’s never appeared to our Rabia, but she’s following him just the same. She says its as if a huge weight has been lifted from her shoulders. She feels free. She doesn’t have to worry about all the times she didn’t keep the Ramadan fast during the Soviet times. She’s forgiven. But, sometimes I worry about her future. What will happen to her after we leave?

,,,,,,,,

A little of her hairspray should do the trick. And some perfume. I’ll crack the window so she doesn’t smell it when she comes home. It’s 1:30 p.m. My interview is at 2:00 p.m. I speed-cleaned the place and didn’t do the kitchen floor. I don’t think she’ll notice, though. Only if there’s a spill and she wipes it and sees those precious white paper towels she buys have some grime on them. I’ll wash it tomorrow. Can’t forget to lock the door. Better not walk too fast, lest a neighbour notice me and mention to Elaine they saw me leaving. I hope there’s a taxi waiting at the corner. Best to avoid the ones Elaine always uses. They might mention it to her. Might even tell her where they took me. That would shock her! I wonder if she’s ever been there. I doubt it. Although, she might not have told me. She can be so secretive. I’m never quite sure what they can afford. Why they’ve never bought a house and completely remodelled it like all the other foreigners is beyond me. I guess they’re not planning to stay forever.

,,,,,,,,

Did I mention we only eat or have coffee here? Can’t really afford to stay a night. We’ve tried to live fairly simply. Unlike most ex-pats we’ve never bought a house here. It’s a dream our local friends could never afford. Though our apartment’s pretty nice. I’ve never actually even seen one of the rooms in this place. The restaurant and lobby’s paradise enough with its morrocon hues, plush carpets, and deep-seated armchairs. Deep-pile Turkish rugs hang on the walls. A vague nod to the local custom (was it Russian or Kyrgyz first?) only these are elegant and hang from black wrought-iron rods. Nothing like the gaudy, gold-hued synthetic ones in our first apartment that I left up for a year, until I finally thought of telling the landlords that I was worried our daughter (then 2) might try to crayon on them. A fairly ingenious face-saving way of having them removed.

,,,,,,,,

Ah, there it is! I think I must have picked the slowest taxi. I know I got a better price though, since he’s a fellow Kyrgyz. I hope Elaine and Rob aren’t too hurt if I leave them for this job. I’ll miss their girls so much. I won’t miss the housework. Okay, walk in slowly, confidently. Like you belong here. Pretend you’ve at least been inside it before. This rotating door is something else. So the doorman didn’t greet me. He in his stiff, soldierly Hyatt uniform. Me in my ‘borrowed’ American skirt. We can see right through each others’ facades. Neither one of us really belongs here.

,,,,,,,,

I’ve got to stop by one of the tiny ‘supermarkets’ to pick up some things before I get the kids from school. I’d better hurry. I’ll just leave the 100 som under my cup. Along with a large tip, of course.

“See you later, Natalia. Spaciba.”

As I’m nearing the door, I almost walk right into Rabia. (Is that my skirt?!) As the color drains from her face, I feel mine go flush. We simultaneously stutter, I in Kyrgyz and she in English…

“What are you doing here?!”

The End

Middelburg

2007-03-27T19:51:00.000+12:00

By Asia Baltzley

Smells were coming from the Middelburg Square. Strong smells. Good smells. They seeped out of the food stalls and mixed together in the air becoming one huge delicious smell. I breathed in deeply, sucking in all the goodness of it. It smelled heavenly.
I skipped after my mom, avoiding the menacing cracks in the cobblestone path below. Ever since my friends from school had told me that if you stepped on a crack you would break your mom’s back, I was extra careful where I stepped. I looked up to see the towering stone abbey, dark and mysterious with cruel looking stone gargoyles watching my every move from the roof.
“Asia!” I heard my mom call to me. I turned my head to see that my family was several steps ahead. This was pretty normal for me, but all the same I didn’t want to get lost, especially with the abbey looming over the Square like a dark shadow.
We walked up to a stand where someone was selling what looked like small waffles coated with syrup. The Dutch family we were staying with had told us about these “stroop wafels”. Their explanation had made my mouth water. Dad went up to the stand and, using the little Dutch he knew, managed to buy one for me, and one for my little sister, Maia, who had pretty blonde hair and big brown eyes, with a hint of green, most likely from our dad. My own hair was in between blonde and brown, and I had the pure dark chocolate eyes of my mother.
The stroop wafel’s golden syrup oozed down my hand, sticking like tree sap to my skin, tempting me to lick it off. I took a bite. It was sweet. Very sweet. And sticky. The rich syrup stuck to my teeth as I chewed. I ate it slowly, savouring every bite.

We explored Middelburg all day, hiking through the labyrinth of cobblestone streets until our feet grew sore and Maia started to complain. We stopped at a small ice cream store to lift our spirits and take a break from walking. There was no place to sit, as there wasn’t a cloud in the sky and the town was full of tourists and locals alike. So we continued along, ice creams already melting in our hands, to squeeze as much fun out of the day as we could.
I was almost done with my ice cream when we finally found an empty bench. My feet sighed with relief when I took a seat on my dad’s lap.
I looked around the quiet street. It was peaceful here, much more peaceful than my home back in Kyrgyzstan, where the roads lacked rules and drivers drove recklessly.
This is where I want to live when I grow up, I thought to myself.

That night I dreamt of stroop wafels and green apple ice cream.

Two on Lenin

2007-03-17T21:33:00.000+13:00

From Shade to Shade
Inspired by Nabokov, Short Stories, pg. 45

From shade to shade
The shrubs are sneaking toward the square

Elongated and blandly uniform
To the swiftly passing cars they look like they are standing still
Motionless as the severe summer afternoon sun

Personally I know better
I drank my coffee and watched them
Halfway through my second cup they had reached the blue awning
overhanging the exchange shop stairs

I’m not the only one who has shown an interest
The heavy maples bordering the square press together leaning to get a glimpse
The poplar wavers on tiptoes peeking over the full-headed maples

In the midst of the square Lenin himself has ascended the monument
He stands alarmed
Yet confident and overdressed

2001

Lenin Descends

In the midst of a breakdown
The poplars stand exposed
Shedding tears of red, yellow and brown
The callous south wind rudely blusters their autumnal shame
Yet undetectably they lean
They listen
Change is in the air

Clouding the metallic sky
The crows clamor toward the square
The inhospitable south wind
drives them down from juniper spotted mountain slopes of gray and green
Swirling, cawing
They light
They listen
Change is in the air

(We pity the park trees each time we pass)
Intending to arouse envy
Assembled willows and maples overextend their renovation celebration
Faded balloon structures
Blinking, enormous sparklers
Trees twisted up in Christmas lights
Like day-old French fries, the stale party decorations ---
Tasteless and nauseating

Their affair is crashed by the intruding south wind
They quiet
They listen
Change is in the air

Formerly so confident and
Ironically, for fall, suitably dressed Lenin has descended the podium
A proud man
He remains stoic
Relocated
Relegated down wind
Replaced by a tunduk wielding angel

October 2003

Leaves Dry

2007-03-17T21:22:00.000+13:00

What is the sound of her sweeping?

Leaves dry as an Egyptian desert rattled by invisible wind
Scarved,
gloved,
smocked,
an ancient Russian woman scrapes her giant witch’s broom around like a magic wand

Light as ash the leaves swirl and toss until
against their will
she surrounds them

Conquered they huddle
Her oversized dust pan lifts and stuffs them into the old pram
now pregnant with leaves
Swollen, it overhangs it wheels

As the conquered are subdued and gathered
Their compatriots swirl beneath her feet
Though she torments them with broom and dust pan, they continue to come at her
She dominates, but never triumphs

What is the sound of her sweeping?

It is sunrise awakening a new day
The beating of rugs
The milkman's call
Voices echoing in the courtyard

A fall day in Central Asia
Only the morning is fresh
By nightfall
Overcome by the smoke of leaves burning
We shut the windows to keep it out

October 2003

The work of pastors is . . .

2007-03-17T21:04:00.000+13:00

“The work of pastors and other leaders is this: bringing a people together around texts (their own stories, biblical stories, the stories of the church’s context) so the congregation can become more available to the narrative of God’s reign. Every church needs continual conversion; a helpful way to understand conversion is to see it as adopting a different narrative. We are given life narratives by society (such as hard work or careerism, generosity or materialism), by our families (maybe loyalty and love, maybe dysfunction and disintegration), and by our cultures (including values we embody concerning language, place, neighbours and wisdom). We are also formed by the stories of our local setting (the narratives of fortune or misfortune, of conflicts or coalitions). We “in-habit” these stories – literally forming habits, practices, and ways of perceiving the world.

Every church needs continual conversion; a helpful way to understand conversion is to see it as adopting a different narrative.

Alongside these narratives (societal, cultural, local, personal), Christian adopt (and are adopted into) the Jesus story as transmitted in numerous traditions, embodied in congregations, and quicken by the Holy Spirit. But – as was already true during the writing of the New Testament—the congregational narratives get separated from the gospel. Those who lead churches must then help a people rediscover the stories that most likely indicate God’s presence and actions. When a church assumes stories without retelling and reentering them, there is little energy to power congregational life and there are no resources for raising a new generation or welcoming neighbours. When cultural or societal stories overshadow stories of God’s initiatives and a church’s narratives of faithfulness and fruitfulness, identity is at risk and priorities skewed. When a church becomes encumbered with practices and programs that have been separated from their meanings, then narratives must be reclaimed and futures must be reimagined so that congregational life can be reshaped.”
-- Mark Lau Branson, Memories, Hopes, and Conversations: Appreciative Inquiry and Congregational Change, pg. 54-55.

Random Thoughts from "The Search to Belong"

2007-03-17T19:28:00.000+13:00

Should church leaders be “Group Environmentalists” or “Group Programmers?”

What organizations choose to measure is important. It is always interesting to hear a pastor’s response to the question, “So how are things going at the church?” Most often their answer circles aimlessly then returns to the same place for an answer (usually preceded by a qualification). It goes something like, “I know that it’s not everything, but giving and attendance have been up the last few weeks.” Church leaders know that they should measure, and hence, define success, by something other than only giving and attendance, but they are at a loss to know what or how. How do you measure things like spontaneity, community and belonging?

Not only is it true that it is dangerous to be without clear aims -- “to aim at nothing is to hit it with amazing accuracy,” but, as well, when we measure the wrong things, those things can take on an importance they do not deserve.

 

When there is a favourable environment people make spontaneous choices regarding to whom they want to belong. They don’t need it done for them. They don’t need strong leadership, vision and values statements, or programmed structures.

Churches can help people find the type of connections that they are looking for in their lives by striving to create healthy environments in which people naturally connect. If they would concentrate upon facilitating the environment instead of the result (such as, people experiencing community), we might see healthy, spontaneous community emerge.

“Group Environmentalists” practice restraint when it comes to controlling the results. They are primarily concerned with creating a healthy climate for spontaneity to occur. They develop simple environmental parameters and then sit back to see what happens.

“Group Programmers,” on the other hand, take control.

 

Four Spaces of Belonging Defined

"A congregation is healthy when it promotes significant belonging in all four spaces and helps people grow in each space. Assembly line processing through the spaces is not healthy.”

Public Space
Public belonging occurs when people connect through an outside influence, fans of a sports team for example. These relationships carry great significance in our lives.

Social Space
Social belonging occurs when we share “snapshots” of what it would be like to be in personal space with us. Social belonging is important because (1) it provides the space for neighbour-like relationships, and (2) it provides a safe space for selecting people with whom we would like to develop deeper relationships.

Personal Space
Through personal belonging, we share private (not “naked”) experiences, feelings and thoughts. “Close friends” inhabit this space.

Intimate Space
In intimate belonging, we share “naked” experiences, feelings and thoughts. We have very few relationships that are intimate.

“These four relational spaces are not a process for growing healthy connections. Healthy community comes when we hold harmony among the spaces. Likewise, a congregation is healthy when it promotes significant belonging in all four spaces and helps people grow in each space. Assembly line processing through the spaces is not healthy.” Pg. 107

A more extensive summary can be found at http://noguarantees.blogspot.com/2004/11/search-to-belong.html

The Search to Belong: Rethinking Intimacy, Community, and Small Groups. Joseph R. Myers (Zondervan, 2003)

the greatest danger

2007-03-06T16:46:00.000+13:00

"The great danger facing all of us is not that we shall make an absolute failure of life ... but that we may fail to perceive life's greatest meaning, fall short of its highest good, miss its deepest and most abiding happiness, be unconscious of life ablaze with the light of the Presence of God -- and be content to have it so -- that someday we may wake up and find that always we have been busy with the husks and trappings of life and have really missed life itself." -- Phillips Brooks (1835-93)

Praying with the FBI

2007-02-28T17:27:00.000+13:00

Just a couple of days ago we asked you to kneel with us and to ask God to intervene and rescue us from our immigration troubles. Amazingly, you must have prayed quickly and fervently, because God acted quickly - within 24 hrs!! The following is an e-mail exchange between Tara and R., a supervisor from the FBI. Enjoy! Join us in showing gratitude to our Gracious God.
----------------------
February 24, 2007
Mr. & Ms. Baltzley:

We have received your record requests and will begin expedited processing shortly. Results should be completed in about 2-3 weeks and returned to your address in New Zealand via first class mail.

If you have any further questions, please feel free to contact me.

Sincerely,

R.
FBI CJIS Division
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February 24, 2007
Dear R.,

We can't thank you enough for this terrific news! Hopefully it will make it in time for NZ immigration, and being able to update them as to when it will be coming should be very helpful.
BTW, not sure what your own view of prayer is, but we have a bunch of friends and family back in the U.S. who pray for us, and we sent an urgent request to them re: our background check and our visa situation. Within 24 hours of that, we got your email :) Not to diminish at all from the kindness and effort of whoever dug our envelope out of the massive pile of thousands ... God bless you and your team!

Tara
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February 25, 2007
Mr. & Ms. Baltzley:

You are most welcome and I pray about just about everything in my life!

If you have any further questions, please feel free to contact me.

Sincerely,

R.
FBI CJIS Division
---------------------

Consumer-Critic or Creator-Contributor?

2007-02-28T16:43:00.000+13:00

Our Western democratic societies are full of consumers and critics. In fact, at least in America, it’s patriotic to be a consumer -- in order to “stimulate the national economy.” In the same vein, our popular culture is full of critics, be they comedians, journalists, music or movie reviewers, social commentators, or talk show or late night TV hosts. It’s seldom acknowledged how difficult it is, in our 2nd law of thermodynamics-enslaved world, to create beauty or make a sustainable contribution to anything. Consequently, rather than celebrate the brave souls who desire to contribute -- who long to create, selfish people are eager to stand back and cast cynicism about their effort or critique their attempts at imitating the Creator. They themselves go through life unwilling to take the necessary risk to beat back the chaos -- to make a lasting contribution to this world or create something of beauty or usefulness. Our culture trains us to be consumers and critics. As unsatisfying as these roles are, most have too little vision or are too afraid to go against the pull -- the societal flow.

I am reminded of the famous quote by Teddy Roosevelt:
"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."
-- Theodore Roosevelt, "Citizenship in a Republic," Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

IN EXIGENT TIMES (a poem to be read aloud)

2007-02-28T16:04:00.000+13:00

Crowding along the cracks running down Broadway toward the pillowy sheets littering the harbour he stops in for a short black, one sugar.

In reality, he’s a cappuccino drinker, one sugar, chocolate on top, but there is almost nothing worse than a cappuccino in a takeaway cup.

In the end, he was always left with a cup of foam, chocolate still on top, drained of all espresso.

Walking hand in hand with his own apprehension he is suddenly aware of the restlessness of the trees that line the street.

In captivity all their lives they are dreaming of life in the wild, beside a muddy riverbank or hidden deep in the bush crawling with wetas.

As he passes, he leans into each one, “Go free little tree,” he whispers, “Go free little one.”

His self-consciousness lifts. He makes eye contact, smiles caringly at a nice young couple passing by, then makes a little wave to a shopkeeper.

As the boulevard crests, the harbour’s breath chills him, lifting his shirttails, first front, then rear.

He is reminded of his liberty as he watches two women wrestle their hair back in place – he has been free now for nearly twenty years.

A hasty right turn brings him into a small, whitish gallery. After initial fascination with the plush wall-to-wall and the stark white everything, he finds the paintings have surrounded him. He’s been left alone with them.

Suddenly he has no where to run from the tightly dressed, sophomoric docent, who has begun to tell him things he’d rather not know about things of which he has not inquired.

Moving toward the door. Scampering toward the light. He whispers to himself, “Go free. Go free little one.”

Over Clad Dragons

2007-02-01T21:50:00.000+13:00

Over clad dragons with each spoken word pepper each other with exhaust from the fire pot within

Squatty limbs attach at the hip to form hollow wings never able to provide flight

Modestly hidden horns lay beneath stocking caps and sloping hats

Distance is kept from such confident dragons -- the only ones on the block
Only with each other can the heat of conversation be borne

Scurrying past
Eyes lowered
I nurture my own fire within

January 2001